Until the rain burns [ENGLISH VERSION]

14

How little I could track the love of my life through the radio and television scared me. I remember perfectly well that Kurt began to earn a reputation of a rare and obscure uncle, rude and unsure of himself. They said that he was angry with everyone, that he was the voice of a generation. I knew that Kurt was very shy, too humble and suffered with and by him when people harassed him or put labels that did not correspond with reality.

I also knew that his problems with drugs increased considerably, since Courtney was also addicted and neither of them left her behind. I knew Frances's custody was snatched away for a while. I knew that he loved this little girl more than his whole life. That he feared when she was older.

To be honest, I always thought the famale came to Kurt. He was just someone with talent in a village full of sticks, which caused fame to frighten him. He was delicate and sensitive, although he always wore the breastplate that it did not matter.

Nirvana prevailed more and more among young audiences. Those crazy young people were the ones who are now 40, 50 or 60 years old. Time flies.

I began to be aware that he was not well when he stopped going to interviews and canceling some concerts. I was sure something happened and I called him a hundred times, but he never answered.

I knew he had troubles with Courtney, because she had been unfaithful to him many times and he always hated feeling betrayed and humiliated. Courtney, to this day I keep saying that he loved you much more than you did him. I still do not understand how you could do that to him several times when he was hopelessly in love with you. Lost blind.

His life was changing and he was not well.

I remember the anguish of seeing in the news that I had suffered an overdose in Rome and that I was in a coma. I thought he'd never wake up. He was bad and I knew that he was going to get worse. I knew him well enough.

4 April 1994

"The singer and leader of grunge band Nirvana has escaped from the Los Angeles rehab center where he was battling his heroin addiction, and his wife, Courtney Love, has reported the disappearance on the grounds that Kurt Cobain is a suicidal person and is in possession of a gun. "

I could not believe what I had just heard. My chest tightened without letting me breathe. Suicide? Firearm? I was going to do? Did he want to kill himself?

The singer has been fighting his addiction to heroin for a while and dealing with marriage problems.

Matrimonial problems? They seemed happy, but that's how couples work...

What was clear was that I was not going to let him do anything wrong. I was going to get him. I was going to find him.