Freedom Without Wings

2.8: Inner Demons

((Trigger Warning: Thoughts and Mentions of Suicide))

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Kyleigh's Point Of View

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I killed again.  I only wanted to become more powerful so I'd.. So I'd bring back those I loved back.  I needed to learn to bring the dead back and to do that is to be more powerful.  But I killed most of them.  All the souls are gone or twisted.  I grab the Angel Blades I had put away when I entered the Heaven before, I looked at the two weapons.  I twist it around in my hand.  It felt so familiar to me after doing this many times.  I had gotten so used to killing that blood, death, and pain don't phase me as much.  I gotten used to torture.  Working with people I hate.  Killing innocents.  Doing what I have to do to get my goal.

Stretching my wings outwards, I had destroyed a room of Heaven.  This would cause some chaos, trying to find who and why the soul had gone.  A catastrophe, but only a small squadron of two or three Angels would come and attack.

I got ready.  I listened closely to the noises.  I waited for the familiar fluttering of wings.

I looked around for the squadron.  'If I was an urgent case, they'd be here, no one's here.  The civil war must've been at it's peak sooner or later.'  I heard fluttering, surprising me out of my mind.  I jumped towards the man with light blue eyes and blond hair.  He moved out of the way.  "Dammit, I needed to talk to you!"  "Shut up Samandriel!" I say, slicing where his neck was.  The Angel moves out of the way and dodges once I try to attack once more.

The Angel used his wings to get the blades out of my hands, which worked.  My eye began to twitch, I growled at the Angel.  "C'mon, it's all fun and games 'til someone gets hurt... Then, it would a best damn time!!" I smiled at the Angel, flying towards him, Samandriel was dodging and dodging.  "You don't want this Kyleigh, let go of the grace!"  He tries to call out to me.

I need another dose of Angel essence.  I need more grace.  I need it.  I don't want to be human.  I don't want weakness.  I wanted power.  I can't fight my inner Demons.  My obsession, my drug, my habit of keeping shit in when others would want me to pour all my woes out.  But in all honesty, I can't.  That's who I become.  Just a lump of pride and problems.  I fight without reason.  I lunged to the Angel Blades on the floor, rolling to break my fall.  I began to fly his way as he began retreat.

"Stop running away, and FIGHT!" I say, grabbing my blades from the ground.  I jabbed towards him.  Samandriel calls out to my human side, "I know you've felt alone this time, but we've been trying to help you this whole time!  Your guardian Angel was helping you this whole time and you killed her!"  My human side became more dominant.  "No, I was praying for you Angels to try and stop my parents!  I prayed to you guys to stop the voices in my head and my self hate!!  I prayed to you assholes to stop everything!!"  I cried.  I jumped at him and slashed at him.

Samandriel flew back to cover and let garrison Angels take it from here.

"You killed Tabris, your guardian Angel." Hannah told me.

'Pathetic, you're taking shit from an Angel who couldn't fight you before?'

'Maybe you should slit your throat in front of them, you know, taking a defeat for once.'

I held onto my head, the thoughts barraging at me all at once.  My wings began to be a cocoon, covering my body.  "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs.  Darkness began appear behind me, covering the white hall with black smoke.

Tears of anger and sorrow began to pour down my cheeks.  "EVERYONE BE QUIET!!" I scream louder than before.

I look at the Angels in fear and terror.  "What have I done?" I whispered to no one else.

My high had ended and all my emotions were flooding back, basically drowning me in them.  I realize what I've done.  The wall that blocked all of the guilt and sorrow had come tumbling down.  I cried my thoughts came and punched me in the gut, feeling like I was bleeding.

'You killed your protector, you monster!'

'Do you really want to be saved?!'

'Tabris protected you, why would you do it?'

'Why put a blade through your guardian?'

'Why kill her rather than yourself?'

'Why?'

'Why?'

'Why?  Why?  Why?  Why?'

The thoughts began to overlap.  I told myself, "Keep yourself together.  Keep your-  GET AWAY FROM ME!!"  I scream at the Angel who had try to put her hand on my head.  I slice her throat open and began absorb it.  'Yes!'  I cheered, my emotions subsided and my heart became stone cold once more.  The question still lingering in my mind.  I answer it for all the Angels. "I did this for myself."