Freedom Without Wings

2.7: Thoughts

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Kyleigh's Point Of View

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I close my eyes, to collect my thoughts and remind myself what was happening.  I hear shoes clacking behind me.  I teleport to another place that gave me peace.  It was a blind woman's interpretation of the world around her.  It was all black and white, splashes of color placed randomly.  The female turned to me, her black hair whip around quickly.  "Hello?  Is it you again?"  She asks.  I stay quiet and sit down on the ink bench.  She was still blind, even in her Heaven.  "Are you there?" She calls.  I try to heal my stomach wound, my hand lit up with light and it then dispersed into nothingness.

I was confused.  I should've been healed.  'This would make sense, tribute for what I'd done this couple months.  I did kill and murder innocent and guilty monsters alike, I feel guilty for that.'

I sigh.  I stood up, ignoring the pain in my stomach.  'I knew no one else felt like they didn't truly belong.  Not feeling it, but knew it.  I was a human stealing Angel Grace after all..  I realized how alone I was.  Started off a cold hearted kid who saw Ghosts, opened up about it, was thought to be crazy, began to date a girl who stopped me from letting the Ghosts kill me, then was diagnosed with mental illnesses..  I then was employed at Hot Topic because no one else would take a blued haired girl with lots of sarcasm.  Tabris and I began to share a body and began fought along side the Winchesters after Sammy died.'

'Now, I stole the Angel's Grace and killed and killed and killed.  I took lives of the innocent and monsters alike.  I sacrificed my sister..  I sacrificed so many things..'

'I feel, once in such a long time, that I should give up.  I feel like killing wasn't the answer.  Violence was like heroine to me.  Once it begins, I need my need next fix, the scariest part is that I'll take it from whoever was there.  I'd challenge others to fight, no matter who and the outcome.  I had too much pride.  I believed I'd win without consequence.  Sam stopped my violent acts, thankfully.  But the truth is, my anxiety would made me worry more about myself and if I got myself hurt rather than if I'd make a fool of myself or worry if I'd say something wrong.  My anxiety is centered on me and the small, small group of people that I love, now loved.'

'I can't feel.  Not as much as a human without Grace or a blessing, or curse, of some stupid supernatural creature.  I'm might as well be a Demon with a 10% chance of feels.'

I look at the world around me, it was black and white.  'Wrong and right.  Good and bad.  Angels and Demons.  The opposite of the world we lived in.  The real world was more of a gradient of greys. There isn't any true black or true white.  There would be dark black or light grey...  I should've known this, remembered that no one is born good or evil.  We are all just a grey area.'

I look at the splashes of colors, I wondered to myself what it represented.  Besides, sooner or later, I'm going to die.  Doesn't matter how or what would happen moments before my death.  I don't care honestly, I knew I was going to die someway.  I continued at the blotchy sky.  I was still bleeding, the nash wasn't going away any time soon.

The blind woman, Sachiko, was spinning around, trying to find the sound I was making.  I was walking around, so the crunching of my boots would've confused her.  I look at her.  'I felt.. nothing.  My hands felt dry, it had been more than an hour or so since I had anything happen..  I was just standing, lost in my own thoughts.. It's scary.  Not knowing what might come to my mind.'  I shook my head, escaping my thoughts.

'I need to kill Sachiko, send a message.  I.. I can't let my emotions take control.  Yes, Sachiko was.. a strange woman.  Being blind and being very imaginative, she'd tell people how to paint, percisely.  She was a seer after all.  I got her killed in a hunt of mine.  I need to let go of all ties with all I got killed.  Even if it means killing once again.'

I began to walk towards the blind woman, "Tabris is no longer with us, Sachiko.  It's time to go with her."  I placed my hand on her head before she had time to speak.  She combusted into small molecules, she had a painless death.. although she was already a soul.  I wiped away some of her blood from my face, using my sleeve.  Most of my sleeves were covered with blood at this point, probably will have more sooner or later.

I began to walk to the hatch where I can go to the halls of Heaven.  I turn to see the Heaven destroying itself, I suppose that would happen if there was no one to occupy the Heaven.

"I apologize, Sachiko.  You couldn't see.. But I hope the next life suits you well."