Trials Of Noor

Chapter three

Don't wait for someone to bring you flowers, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul~

**********

Tick-tock  tick-tock tick-tock

The wall clock was the only sound I could hear. The small ball I had been twirling in my hands slipped off and rolled down the tables. I didn't bother to pick it up. The therapist office was located at the most quiet and secluded area in the hospital. The  mental ward was very noisy, whereas, here was calm and quiet. The door to the office opened and Dr Laweezah came in.

Hello Noor, it's so nice to see you again" she chimed with her very enthusiastic voice. "Sorry I kept you waiting, I had an emergency down there" She said smoothing her white coat and finally sitting down on her chair

"So , how have you been"  she inquired and I just nodded. Every time I step into this office, I feel the memories flood back, like it just happened. I come here every two weeks, but every time, I feel it. The feeling. The memories. The pain.

"Noor...listen" she started standing from the chair and moving to the one adjacent to mine, she held my hands then continued. "Noor...You have to learn to speak up, to talk, express yourself, to do everything normal like everyone else. You have to learn to live. I know it's not easy for you, but you'll have to. It's been three years now, Forget everything, like it never happened, just cut it out of your life, forget those bitter memories and embrace the sweet new one's life's giving you and live your life to the fullest. You have your whole life ahead of you, so why waste it on old memories" she spoke smiling weakly at me.

"Don't let the old storms get you down, keep pushing forward, everything will work out In Sha Allah(if Allah wills)" she squeezed my hands slightly.

I just nodded again. I can't forget. Never. Not until the guilt washes off. The guilt of keeping my parents apart. Everyone keeps telling me it's not my fault, but I know...deep down, it's all me.

It's not like they've divorced, they've just drifted apart. Just like two rivers that used to flow together, but both changed direction drastically.

"How's school Noor?" She asked moving back to her seat and writing something in a file. She writes on this same file every time I come here and I take it to be my medical report.

"Fine" I stated.

"And your friend? Affiyah?" She asked

"She's fine. Her cousin's getting married and she's so excited about it, even though she hates crowds. And you know what? She's even picked matching dresses for us to wear at the dinner party" I said leaning back on the soft chair as I thought of how hyper she's been about the wedding recently. She's even more excited than the bride her self.

I thought of how amazing it'll be if I had a sister. We'll do everything together, wear matching clothes, matching shoes, accessories. Not like I didn't have sisters, I had three stepsisters. We had the typical stepsisters relationship- the hated me. I don't like them either. Well let's just say the feeling was mutual.

The sound of a voice bought me out of my revive. The psychiatrist had a confused look on her face that was when I realized, I was frowning. Just a mere thought of them made me angry and frustrated, maybe because they stole my share of love...the love of a father. The love I once had. We had the perfect father-daughter relationship before the happened. But then it all changed. He stopped visiting. He stopped caring. He stopped loving.

Dr Laweezah sighed before she continued, knowing that whenever I came here, I was always in deep thought. Thinking about the things I wasn't supposed to.

"How's your mother?" She inquired.

"She's fine, been busy with work and the boutique recently" I replied playing with the hem of my Abaya.

"And you? Are you sure you're fine Noor?" She asked concerned

I smiled then I lied through my teeth" I'm fine. Absolutely alright" I sounded sincere

"And the nightmares?" She asked yet again

"Not really, it's been a while I had those dreams" I replied, avoiding her gaze. She couldn't read through me could she?

"And the episodes, the fits?" she asked looking directly into my eyes as if she was trying to read me.

I sighed before I continued "it's been a year...I.I had one" I said my voice cracking. She asks this question every time and I give her the same question every time.

"Can we stop the therapy for sometime? I feel I'm good now" I spoke, looking directly at her. I didn't want her to read through me.

"Noor...I think you're fine. Almost fine. You just need to move on, okay?, so we can drop it for a while, but you can come meet me anytime you feel like sharing something, okay?" She said smiling brightly.

"Okay" I said. My voice came out like a whisper compared to her loud voice. She closed the file she has been writing on and smiled to me once again. She likes smiling. I stood up to leave when she spoke

"Extend my regards to your mom, tell her to meet me tomorrow, I have something we need to discuss about" she said.

"Okay" I said and then I left closing the door securely behind me.

"What could it be that she wanted to tell my mother" I spoke to no one as I walked to the elevator, pulling down my niqabi, the strong smell of antiseptic hitting my nose.

I liked wearing a niqabi. It clears off my mind and also sheilds me from the prodding eyes of people.

I walked through the reception area and bumped into someone. He mumbled a sorry and hurried past me.

"Nurse! I had told you to bring the oxygen to side ward 6! You're so unprofessional and sluggish, we almost lost him due to you. You don't procrastinate and put people's life at stake." He yelled at the nurse while she stood and took in everything.

I felt bad for the poor nurse that was being reprimanded. I passed them without a word and headed towards the parking lot where I met Adamu, the driver patiently waiting.

{}{}

Hello!

So, you must have guessed by now that there's a big mystery in this story, right....lol. It's not all candy and roses, there are also toothache and thorns.

Okay....back to business
Please..
Please....
Please ........

Vote~
Share~
Comment~

It helps me a lot😉
Bye for now:)

Husnah💜