incoherent ramblings from someone who may or may not be completely sane

a place

i have found a place

it is a spot where warm wind blows

it is peaceful, it is tranquil

it is a place in which i can hold you, a place in which you can hold me without the constant sensation of burning tingling in my brain

it is a place in which we are together . it is calm, nothing matters

it is the side of a bridge where i feel the wind blow on my face and cold railing beneath my shoes

it is the peaceful meadow in which i spend my time looking into your eyes rather than counting and making sure the petals on the flowers are even

it is the bedroom where i place your hand over my heart, trusting you to not rip it straight from my chest

it is the tiled bathroom floor where my cold hands shake and i cant breathe because you did anyway

it is the public street in which every inch of my skin burns with the thought that everyone is looking at me when in reality no one ever does

it is the club in which i shed a thousand tears and yet still having nobody to hold

it is the place where i could be surrounded by hundreds and yet, completely alone

it is a lonely, lonely place

it is the bathroom in which i hid and turned off the lights so it didnt hurt my eyes

it is the bedroom in which i tied a shirt around my neck and held until the edges of my vision grew black

it is the school building where i stood at the top of a flight of stairs, looking for excuses to not fling myself down all of them

it is the hotel bathroom where i curled up and destroyed myself beyond recognition, to the point where i can still feel the stinging today

i have found a place

this place is everywhere i breathe 

it is the place in which i am dying

and i have not found a way out yet, i am trying 

i dont think im looking for excuses to die as much as i am running out of excuses to live