Family in Counting (BatBrats AU)

6: Theraphy's a Bitch Jason Peter Wayne.

"Jason, I need you ready in ten minutes. You aren't missing another appointment with Dr. William."

I make a noise in reply, pulling my covers over my head. He marched over and yanked them to the floor jumping on top of me.

"Wake up. Or you can just go in pajamas."

"Is that a viable option?" I asked.

"Get. Up. I have places to be other than fighting your sorry ass into the therapy appointments that you're supposed to be responsible enough to go to by yourself."

"I am I just don't want to. It's stupid, therapy is stupid."

"Court ordered. Cassandra has to go, Stephanie has to go, Tim has to go, you have to go. Move it."

I slumped out of bed and stripped naked as Dick left. Thumbing through my drawers I let my head fog up in the pre-coffee glaze so I could---just for a second---remember Bruce's voice. Suddenly, I couldn't remember anything. I couldn't remember the way he said my name before bed when Dick and I were young, what color his eyes he had been (despite looking at them every day for nine years), how he walked, what his favorite color was: all little things I couldn't tell you before I suddenly could never tell you.

I hiked up my boxers and stopped dressing. The glaze came back in my fingers too so I was less aware that I was present in my bedroom. I think I was saying something because I could hear Stephanie repeating it outside my bedroom door. Late, late, late she reminded. Threes.

"JASON! GET THE LED OUT!"

I jumped. The curtain was gone and I had jeans and a hoodie on in place.

"Jason, you know we have to leave? We have to leave (we have to leave) because you're going to make us very late. Very very late. Jason, did you hear me." Steph's walking in perfect sync with me so we bounce at the same time and her words reach me faster. Or at least that what she told me.

"Fuck off cucko-clock. Get out of my face."

"Swear. Two nickels for a fuck."

"Liar it's only a dime."

"10 cents but Alfred said I could make rules and if you say fuck it's two nickels. Shit's four pennies, ass or asshole's a dime, and anything referring to slut or whore is a whole quarter."

"Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking whore son of a fucking slut, shit fuck fuck fuck asshole."

"Taunts, nice Jason. DICK! JASON'S MAKING FUN OF MY OCD!"

"JASON GET THE FUCK IN THE CAR!" Dick screamed, put out.

I galloped down the stairs, Stephanie, unable to keep up the pace with her much shorter legs, no match for my stair skipping. I swung back to her and stuck my tongue out.

"Snitch bitch!"

"Y-you owe a quarter, a lot of quarters and four, four, eight pennies a-and twos times seven, eight 16 nickels!!! Jason!!!"

"Yeah and who's gonna make me?"

"Fucking hell Jason! Get in the goddamned car!"

~

"How are you doin' today, Jason?" Dr. William asked.

"Just peachy, Rog," I said.

"Would you like to talk about the first week back at school?"

"Nope."

"How about the comment you made to your brother?"

"Nope."

"So are we just gonna sit and look at each other for the rest of the hour?"

"Yep."

"There isn't anything you want to talk about."

I dropped my head and rubbed my hands against my jeans.

"Jason?"

"Cass. It's Cass."

"Did something happen between you two this week?"

"That's the thing: nothing happened. Normally she's goin' on 'n on about dance lessons or speech or somethin' ya know and now it's just nothin'. Absolute silence again."

"Are you worried about her?"

"Nah, kids tough, she can handle herself. 'Sides got my own shit to worry about."

"Like?"

"..."

"Jason, therapy only works when you talk to me."

"Yeah well I didn't ask for therapy, I'm only here so I don't go back into the system."

He cocked an eyebrow. I leaned forward in the chair and narrowed my eyes at him.

"Do you understand what having your first feeling of belonging is like? What losing the love from a man who raised you, sang to you when you had nightmares, promised you the world is like? Huh? Imagine, Rog, imagine that you're feeling belonging for the first time and then someone takes it from you. Do you understand that feeling?"

"I don't. Why don't you tell me about it Jason?"

"It's like dying all over again. It's like knowing that you aren't going to be around long enough to see Damien walk or talk or grow up and never see Cassie dance again and never know what Tim or Stephanie do with their lives. It's like feeling every possibility of your future strangle you."

"Do these thoughts ever --"

"Make me wanna kill myself? No. I don't think Dick would react well to that."

"So the only reason you wouldn't commit suicide is so you won't upset your brother?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Jason, how about we talk about the comment you made to your brother earlier this week."

"Why? You already think I'm fucking nuts, why should I give you fuel for the fire you're about to light under my ass?"

"Jason, is that really why you think we're here?"

"Yes."

"We are here because your father died just four months ago and you don't seem too bothered by it."

"I can't just spend all my time moaning and getting all sad about Bruce dying. It was an accident, accidents happen. It was a shit hand that God dealt us but I think we can manage. Can I go now?"

"In fourty-two minutes and seven seconds, you may leave," Dr. William said. I leaned back further in my chair and looked out the window.

"Hows about we cut the shit and call it a day?"

"I'm not sure I can do that son."

I sit up off the couch, my shoulder blades digging together.

"If you could not say that, that would be great."

"What? Son? Jason, does it make you uncomfortable when I call you 'son'?"

I throw myself up to my feet and growl.

"What damn business is it of yours?! Who the fuck gave you authority to dig around in my head?!! I don't remember agreeing to this!!"

"Jason, if you'll sit back down we can talk about this."

His stupid face is so calm and ready for me to listen.

"No. I'm leaving. I'm-I'm going home."

I made a B-line for the door and yanked it opened. Dr. William stayed seated in the same position he'd been in since we started.

"Are ... are you not gonna stop me?" I asked.

"No. No one's going to force you back into that , Jason, you can leave whenever you like."

"Oh?"

"It was nice talking to you Jason, I do hope you return," Dr. William said.

I quirked an eyebrow and returned to my seat.

"Fine. Let's talk."