all i want for christmas ── sirius black

EIGHT

NINETEEN-SEVENTY-NINE
give me your truth
and you shall have my heart

THE Christmas of 1979 began a bleak one. Sirius Black had always known he could have no faith in his family, apart from perhaps cousin Andromeda and his uncle Alphard. He'd moved on, at least he thought so, to bigger and better things, like Callie, Remus, Peter and the Potters. Even still, the painful news he received the evening of the fifteenth left a dull ache in his chest.

His brother Regulus had finally become a death-eater. He'd always known the day would come; Reg had always been too cowardly to act outside of their parents' wishes, and thus, the dark mark forever loomed in his future. That December it had finally caught up with him, and his wrist had been tarnished with the wretched mark, a sight that made Sirius feel sick.

Callie found him the morning of the sixteenth curled up in a blanket on their sofa, his eyes puffy and red as if he'd been up crying half the night. In fact, she was almost certain he had been. He'd always tried denying how he cared for his brother, but inside he knew he did, and wished Regulus been able to escape like he did in his youth. Despite having a difficult life post-Gryffindor, the Sorting Hat's verdict had been a blessing through and through.

Sympathetically, she snuggled up beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he buried his head into her chest. He didn't need to say a word for her to know how he was feeling. She ran her fingers through his hair, grazing his scalp with her fingernails just as he liked it, hoping it'd ease his pain a little and help him to relax.

"D'you want some breakfast, love?" She whispered to him after a while, acknowledging the fact he hadn't eaten all morning even though he'd been up all night, sleepless and his thoughts invaded his restless mind.

"Don't think I could eat if I tried." He replied a little louder, his voice hoarse as he spoke.

She let out a sigh of desperation, unsure of what to do with man crumbling into pieces before her. She instinctively held him closer, nibbling at her bottom lip as she felt the rise and fall of his chest against her abdomen.

"You need to take your mind off of it, Sirius. You know he couldn't have helped joining-" He cut her off with a frustrated groan, shaking his head as he moved to look her in the eye.

She nearly broke alongside him right there. His eyes, the usual calm and collected pools of grey, mirrored the absolute grief and pain he was feeling as the darkness swallowed his family whole. She felt tears prick at her eyes and swallowed thickly to stop them from trickling down her cheeks. He needed her and she vowed she would stay strong.

"You don't understand, Cal. You don't get what it's like to have your childhood be washed away by black magic and evil pricks who have some stupid power complex. You'll never get it, and it's okay, but you need to know he could have left. He could have done it."

"He would be risking his life-" She began again but to no avail, as he cut her off once more.

"And I didn't? I got out of there, he's just a coward who doesn't have the guts to do what's right. Talk about a Slytherin." He shook his head, disappointment radiating from him as he glared down at his lap.

There was silence, not awkward but uncomfortable, as they thought of what could come next. Sirius couldn't think of anything but those dreaded black capes and those snake-like tattoos, the thoughts slithering into his mind over and over. Callie couldn't think of anything other than Sirius, who she'd began to worry about. She needed to get his mind off of Regulus, onto the people who loved him and were there for him.

Gently, she moved into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him close, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. It barely took him a moment to respond, and he draped his arms around her waist to hold her closer, holding onto any signs of love and hope he had left.

"Look, my love. Don't think about Regulus. I love you, James and Lily love you, the boys love you. We're all here for you, and it's our favourite time of year. Don't let Regulus ruin this for us. For you." She mumbled against his lips, but the words hit him louder than ever as the fairy-lights along their mantlepiece twinkled dully in the background, helping to illuminate her features effortlessly.

He didn't need to speak another word before their lips had connected again, his hands lazily scanning her body beneath her shirt as they moved in sync. His shirt was flung onto the floor, and after a few moments, hers joined it, their chests pressed together to avoid the bitter cold of the flat now the blanket had been chucked aside.

They'd done things like this before, of course they had; teenagers would be teenagers, naturally. Yet nothing felt as special as this did, and as the soft twinkle of the lights outlined their bodies, casting shadows across their skin, Sirius didn't think he'd ever loved her more. Ever wanted her more than he did now.

Clothes a heap on the floor, they moved slowly in sync, their movements more meaningful and gentle than ever before. Light pink spots of joy dotted her cheeks as she pressed her chest to his, the feeling of skin on skin making her stomach swirl. His lips met hers again in a heated moment of elation, his hips still working upwards against her. She felt like she was going to explode, and the room would go with her, and she could tell from his face that he felt much the same.

Afterwards, they found the blanket again and draped it over their tired bodies, pressed closely together on the couch, spent but satisfied. Sirius looked the happiest he had all day, and Callie felt the worry wash away from her as Sirius smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you, Callie. You were right." He smiled softly, brushing his fingers across her arm absentmindedly. "I think we deserve a festive nap, don't you?"

"I'm beginning to think you just love naps in general." She laughed, but was not reluctant in wrapping herself in his arms, leaning her head against his chest as she closed her eyes.

"I love you too." She mumbled, and as he pressed a kiss to her head, she felt herself drifting off to the crackle of the fire.