Changes.

Chapter Three.

After I stopped talking to people and started distancing myself, I realized how hard it was to be happy. I kept having flashbacks of my past and I didn't know how to deal with it. So I stole a pencil sharpener and broke it apart and took that shiny blade to my delicate, unscarred skin. I regret doing it that second time more than I'll regret anything right now.

Finally my dad convinced me to go out more, so I went to, at the time my best friend Ashlee's house. And listened to music with her and went swimming and started being happier again. Then my other, at the time best friend Jaymee and I got into a huge fight, then I did it again. No matter what happened I would always come back to that shiny metal blade. It was like it was my friend. So I considered it my friend.

When I went back to school shopping, I started buying makeup. Because I thought it would make me pretty. Instead it made me look like a goth mess, because I used too much if it. I felt pretty, and I didnt care what anyone said until my mothers, now dead friend called me a stupid whore because of all the black makeup I wore. Then I finally realized everyone was calling me that and I resorted back to my " friend. " After a couple weeks into the Grade 7 year, I got my first real boyfriend. I was so happy. I finally had someone who loved me other than my parents.
He treated me like a queen until about 2 months into the relationship, then he started to become an asshole and I dumped him.

Then after a few months of being friends he asked me out again, and we tried to make it work, then he started getting real distant and started putting me on " do not disturb " mode for no reason and he would leave it on for days. But I still stuck with him, because I thought I loved him.. Then after a little while, he told me we needed a break. And I asked him why we needed a break, and he said because of his friend Damien. Damien was flirting with me and I guess Landon thought I was flirting back, but I wasnt. I was mad at Landon, so I assumed he broke up with me so I dated his best friend, Damien, he just ended up hurting me.

Then Vada and I became friends, we fought and bickered over Damien because I liked him and she didnt like that sooo. We were on again, off again friends. The kind of friends a normal person wouldnt want.
Then nearing the end of Grade 7, about a week before school ended, we had a housefire, which made me extremely upset and depressed, because I had lost pretty much all my possessions and my doggo. 

The whole Grade 7 year I was bullied, badly. It wasn't so bad at the ending of Grade 7, but the beginning of the grade people were making me cry in class and have panic attacks because they would make fun of me for misreading something when I had to give a speech in front of the class...

Anyways, the summer was pretty damn eventful.