City of Heavenly Fire Fanfic

Pain, So Much Pain

It had been 2 weeks since Magnus' and Alec's deaths, and nobody was taking it well. Maryse rarely left her room. Izzy wouldn't leave the training room. Clary didn't come to the Institute as often. Izzy was shutting out Simon so he wouldn't leave his apartment. Robert was in Idris and didn't know about Alec's death. Jace was hit the hardest with the loss of Alec.

Jace never left his room. Not even to get food. He was growing increasingly weak, and skinny. He was losing a lot of weight and was getting dark circles around his eyes. His eyes were often red from crying. He had lost his parabatai, his best friend, his brother. He felt there was nothing left for him. Who was he going to talk to about Clary? Who would he be able to train with? He looked down at the spot where the rune was supposed to be. It was white; mourning the death of his parabatai. Everytime Jace looked at it, he remembered the night he found Alec and Magnus.

Flashback; 2 Weeks Ago

Jace opened the door and turned on the light only to hear Clary scream. He turned and saw. Magnus and Alec were lying on their bed, motionless. Jace immediately raced to his parabatai's side, checking for a pulse or to see if he was breathing. Nothing. Not the faintest heartbeat or intake of breath. He went over to check Magnus for a pulse and came up with nothing. They were both dead. Jace sloly stepped away from the bed and noticed something that made tears well in his eyes: Magnus and Alec had their heads turned to one another. They had died looking at the one they loved most in the world: Each other. He turned to look at Clary. She had collapsed on the ground crying and screaming Alec's name.

Alec and Clary had grown surprisingly close after Alec met Magnus and Clary and Jace had started dating. Alec was like the older brother she always wanted. Sebastian didn't count because he wanted to kill everybody and didn't know how to love. Alec was over-protective, caring, funny, and everything an older brother should be. Not psychotic, terrifying, and deadly.

Jace wished there was something he could do, but only stood staring at nothing in particular. Just staring into space. He felt like he had been submerged in water. Clary's screams and cries were growing faint. The next thing he knew he was on the ground as well, screaming. This is all a dream, he thought. I'm going to wake up on the couch. None of this happened. Alec is still alive. This never happened. His screams became louder as the tears rushed down his cheeks. He began shouting, "NO NO NO! This isn't happening! NO! ALEC! COME BACK! I NEED YOU!" He began pinching himself, trying to wake up from this nightmare. Wake up, he thought. Wake up. Wakeupwakeupwakeup! But he was never going to wake up from this nightmare.

Once the tears subsided, his voice was dry and raspy. He got out his phone and dialed Isabelle. He told Izzy. It was silent on the other end and then heard her scream. He heard a crash and knew she threw something. And then the line went dead. He set his phone on the floor, stood up, and walked to Clary.

She was curled up on the floor crying. Her screams had turned into sobs and she was slowly rocking back and forth on her side. Jace leaned down and sat next to her. He pulled her into his lap and she instantly curled into him, crying into his shirt. He had had his moment of weakness. Now he needed to be strong and be there for Clary and Isabelle. But he couldn't be strong. He laid his cheek on the top of her head and let a few more tears slip out, and then a small sob. Then, he was crying all over again. He held Clary close as she cried. They cried until Jace ran out of tears and Clary had fallen asleep. He sat there on the floor with Clary in his arms for a few more minutes before slowly standing and carrying Clary bridal style back to the Institute.

He carried her up to their bedroom and laid her on the bed. Not bothering to change her or himself into pajamas, he crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over himself and Clary. He wrapped his arms around Clary and cried for another hour before drifting into a dreamless sleep.

End of Flashback

Jace began to cry at the memory. He had been crying for about a half hour when someone knocked on his door. "Go away." He said, his voice dry from crying.

"Jace," It was Isabelle. "I was just going to see how Simon was doing."

"Whatever." There was no answer on the other side of the door, just silence. Then, the sound of footsteps leaving his door.

Jace curled back up in his sheets and continued to cry. He was still crying when a thought crossed his mind: If Alec died, why didn't I feel the parabatai bond break?