Sincerely, Me {A Dear Evan Hansen FF}

{25}

That morning I had gotten my new glasses and Evan's hair cut. We were currently walking in the mall. Wait, no. I was walking while pushing Evan on his wheelchair.

I was pushing Evan in the direction of Bath and Body Works when Evan's phone started to ring. He fumbled for it but managed to grab it from his pocket and hit answer immediately after seeing who it was.

"Hello?"

Sure it's kinda like eavesdropping but Evan knew I was right there soooo...

"Yeah... I'm at the mall with Jared."

"Yes, Jared. No, Connor's at school."

I pursed my lips, thinking. So it can't be Connor, it must be his mom then.

"Yeah, okay. Bye love you." Except Evan doesn't hang up, he hands the phone to me.

I furrow my eyebrows but take the phone.

"Yo this is Jared."

"Hi Jared. I was just talking with Doctor Herman and we're doing the surgery. Can you bring Evan to the hospital? Don't freak out and don't let Evan freak out. I'll see you there, k?" Mrs. Hansen's voice says.

"Uh.. okay. Yeah, yeah I got it. Be there soon." I say quickly.

"Okay, thanks. Bye." She says.

"See ya." I say, hanging up.

I hand the phone back to Evan and he looks at me, "What did she say to you?"

"Uh nothing really, but uh.. let's go." I say, not really wanting to talk about this right now.

I pushed Evan to the car and helped him in then folded up the wheelchair and put it in the trunk. Hoping into the car, I turn it on then pull out onto the street.

"What did she say to you?" Evan repeats.

I sigh, "Fine. She told me to take you to the hospital."

"What? Why?" Evan asks, sounded slightly panicked.

"Don't panic. She said that Doctor Herman wants to give you the surgery right away. That's why I'm taking you to the hospital right now."

Evan didn't say anything until we were 5 minutes away from the hospital. We were stopped at a light and I looked over to him. He was looking down and his eyes were red... was he... did he cry? How did I not hear? Oh right, the music was up so if he was sliently sobbing, I wouldn't have heard him.

"Evan...?" I say quietly.

Green light. Dammit.

I started to drive, looking at him every two seconds. After a minute he finally looked at me.

"What?" His voice was hoarse.

"You okay man?" I ask, looking back to him but quickly looking back at the road.

"...No, no Jared. I-I can't. I can't." He whispers.

I bite down on my lip and pull off the road, into a McDonald's parking lot. I park the car and look at Evan.

"No Evan. Don't do that. Don't do that to yourself. Your questioning your decision. Stop it." I say firmly.

He looks at me, yep he was definitely crying. "...Jared, you don't understand. I can't. What if something happens?" he whispers, holding his temples and looking down.

"Nothing's gonna happen. You're going to be fine." I say, placing my hand on his shoulder.

He looked at me, "Where's Connor?"

"He's at school, remember? I don't think he knows about you getting your surgery. No need to worry him when he still has half the day left." I say.

Evan looks away then after awhile he mumbles, "Fine."

I sigh, "You're going to fine Ev, promise."

He didn't say anything else as I drove to the hospital. He let me help him into the wheelchair and push him into the hospital.

Evan's mom was waiting in the lobby so I just followed her, once she started walking.

A few minutes of awkward silence later, we reached the room where Evan would be getting the surgery. I pushed him in and, Evan (who had been staring forward this entire time), quickly turned his head to the side.

I bite at my lip and pushed him to the bed in the middle. There was so many monitors and machines in this room, it was kinda scary.

"You're gonna be fine." I mumble quietly so only Evan could hear.

He didn't move or say anything. I helped him onto the bed and pulled the wheelchair away. I was standing by the door when Mrs. Hansen walked up to me.

"Can you wait in the waiting room? I have to get back to work, contact Connor when he's done with school. Evan will be staying here overnight so it's best that you two go home when visiting hours are over." Mrs. Hansen says.

I nod, "Okay."

She smiled at me as I turned around, walking towards the door. I left the wheelchair in there and walked outside his room. There wasn't exactly a waiting room. What she meant was: Sit along the chairs outside but I doubt they'll let you in.

I huffed and sat in the chair, pulling out my phone. I checked the time, 1:37.

Connor won't be out for almost 2 hours yet. Groaning I slide down in the chair. Sure, it was probably not polite but who cares? Not this guy.

~~~

It was horrifying.

All the machines and monitors. All the needles and sharp objects. I was shaking. I didn't want Jared to leave. He shouldn't have left me to these people. Where was Connor? I need Connor.

"Alright Evan, since this is a surgery we're going to put you to sleep okay?" A doctor says, standing next to the bed I was in.

"P-put me t-to ..sleep?"

"Yes, so you won't feel any of the pain." She smiles and presses something on a controller that makes the bed move downward.

I bite down on my lip. They're going to help me. They're going to make me walk again.

I hope.

The doctor placed something over my mouth. Gas filled the small container. There was so much of it. Filling my mouth, my nose, my throat, my lungs. It was suffocating me. I was going to die.

I was going to die before the surgery even started. I coughed. That's when everything went dark.

I don't remember much during my passed out moment but I do know one thing.

They were wrong.

~~~

~Fro