Its a..

Is this really it

Essena's POV

He crushed me. In that moment, I felt so crushed. The rain seemed to be pouring down harder with every stride I took. I shivered and flipped my hair back, not slowing my pace down for a moment. I continued running without stopping for a second. I just ran for what seemed like hours, maybe even in circles around my house, until I realized it was about time for me to get home from "calculus".

When I got home my parents were startled by what they saw walk in. My hair was a frizzy, soaked mess. It kind of resembled a dead, decayed, version of a tarantula. My make up was smeared down my face from crying (but luckily, I could always blame that on the rain). My mom took one look at me and widened her eyes in horror. "I was sure you had a ride home! You could have called your father, or me!" she retorted. 

I looked down in embarrassment, knowing that I couldn't exactly explain how doing so would unravel my little white lie. "I know, i'm sorry guys.. I thought you two might have been out, and I didn't want to ruin your evening," I grimaced. My dad sighed and smiled telling me, "You better go up to the shower, wouldn't want to be sick to school tomorrow." I felt my breath get caught in my throat. Yeah, School.

I turned the shower knob all the way to the left, causing it to emit the most scorching heat. I could care less, all I wanted was mind-numbing solitude. I wrapped my arms around my shoulders and crouched in the corner of the showers. Rubbing my lips, I still felt a numb pang to them. I decided to get up and scrub them hard with water. I couldn't just make him disappear from my life, but maybe I could at least wash him out of my system..

I shivered as I got out of the shower and ran to the nearest open box beside my bed. I pulled out my old gray "HARVARD" sweater and a pear of black shorts. Upset that I seemed to mix my summer and winter clothes together, I shrugged and hopped into bed. I just let myself lie there, contemplating what to do. My contemplation didn't survive until the morning though, as I fell asleep midst my thought process..

The next morning I hopped out of bed and grabbed my phone. Great, I woke up late again. I laughed for a moment and then reality hit me again. You know, before reality hit me, all I felt was bliss. You know that feeling when you just wake up in the morning. That groggy, intoxicated, state of being, where your mind hasn't even begun processing anything yet. All your worries are nonexistent, and the only thing that you feel is pure bliss. Like you're in a state of floating, somewhere between the clouds.

Yeah, well, that moment lasts for maybe 30 seconds. At least it did for me, until I remembered I had school today. More correctly, that he would be there..   Feeling drained of energy, I grabbed a plain white T shirt and jeans from my closet. At least on days like this, you can't go wrong with classic. Remember the morning chill that anticipated me outside, I grabbed my leather jacket hanging from the corner of my bed and wrapped it around me. I looked in the mirror and fluffed my hair a bit with my hands, trying to create some sort of volume to it. Seeing the reflection of all the boxes in my room reminded me I still needed to make sense out of the mess in here. Yeah, I had bigger messes to deal with..

I skipped down the stairs and to my surprise saw my dad sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper. "Dad?" I called out. He jumped at my call and immediately looked down at his watch. "Oh, I didn't notice the time! Come on, i'm late anyways, let me drop you off!" he said. I nodded and followed him out the door.

I arrived at school 15 minutes early due to dad's little mishap. I had to admit though, it was better than being late. Just a few more days and my car would be shipped back here. I couldn't wait. I made my way through the corridors and pulled my schedule out of the black bag slung around my shoulder. Just perfect. First period English. I pressed my lips together and stalked down the hall, my seemingly optimistic morning getting worse by the minute.

If that wasn't terrible enough, he was already there. Sitting with his coffee, one leg sprung over the other, reading Gatsby. He was so effortlessly adorable, I needed to tear myself away from staring. He didn't deserve to even catch me looking. I felt his eyes look up at my and ignored him, turning my back away and diverting my attention to the back of the room. To my surprise I saw a familiar blonde face, completely hypnotized by his iPhone. "Hey, is that the quarterback?" I remarked, throwing him a wink. Jake look up and flashed me a smile. "So she talks! How are you?" he said while chuckling at my remark. I smiled and talked with him for a few moments. The class slowly began filling up, and I noticed the time go by..minute by minute. I was purposefully ignoring Max, and I was going to force myself to enjoy it. Lost in my thought, Jake nudged my shoulder. I diverted my eyes back to him. The bell sounded, so I needed to wait a moment to hear him clearly.

"Wait, what was it you said?" I asked. "What I was saying was, we should totally hang out after the game tonight. Maybe after I steal a little victory kiss from you," He suggest, licking the edge of his lips a bit. I giggled and heard someone clear their throat. Quite loudly. "If SOME of you have failed to noticed, the bell has sounded, and class has already begun.." Max called out, looking straight at me.