Ruined (A BTS fanfiction)

Chapter 4 - Crisis

I sat by myself on a bench. It was cold for a summer day. The sun hid itself behind layers and layers of clouds. I could hear the faint sounds of people talking in the distance. Still, I felt very alone. I kept replaying their story in my head. Unable to dry my mind of their tears. Even with all the anger bubbling inside, I was uneasy. But I was shaken from my state by the sound of Jinyoung calling out to me. He approached with a smile I once called charming stretched across his face. I stood up. I was trembling, from anger, or perhaps dread.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He said, finally realizing how serious I was.

"Jinyoung, I'm going to get right to the point." I looked him in the eyes. "When you were watching the boys yesterday... did you hurt Taehyung and Jimin?"

He looked so surprised, for a moment, I almost believed him. But there was something about the way his posture and tone changed that gave it an air of subtle anger.

"No, I would never hurt them." He said. "Did they tell you I did?"

"Yes, they did," I said. "Are you suggesting they lied?"

"Well, I didn't hurt them!"

"Why should I believe you over them?"

"If you trust me so little, why did you let me watch them?"

"Was it too much for me to expect you to have the decency not to abuse my children?"

Jinyoung scoffed and turned away. He was lying to me. He'd been lying to me the whole time. I knew the expression he was making then was his true self. It sickened me. I searched it for any signs of guilt or repentance, but there was only loathing. He turned back to me.

"You selfish hag," He snapped. "I was helping you."

"Helping me?" I said, shocked.

"You can't even raise your boys to be proper men, then you come after me for disciplining them! I didn't abuse them. I showed them they need to man up to live in the real world."

"They're children! Of course they're not ready for the real world."

"Being young is no excuse!"

I stared at him, astonished. I couldn't believe I let a monster like him near my sons. How had I been so blind? How could I not see underneath his facade and charm? I decided I just wanted this to end.

"It's over." I turned. "Don't ever contact me again."

"You're breaking up with me?" Jinyoung looked at me as if the idea of us breaking up had never even been a possibility to him.

"You think I would stay with you after this?" I didn't wait for a reply.

I started to walk away but Jinyoung grabbed my arm, trying to pull me back.

"Let go!" I screamed pulling my arm away.

He released me. I didn't turn to look at him again. I didn't run away. I didn't cry. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. As I walked away, Jinyoung cursed at me. It took all of my strength to hold back the tears. The same thought suffocating me. I was an idiot.

The rest of my walk home, I was in a daze. Unable to fully process my emotions. The sight of home was a welcoming one. I opened the door to find all seven of my boys sitting in the living room. As soon as I entered all of them but Jimin and Jin stood up. Jin had his arms around Jimin, who looked utterly melancholy. Taehyung ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my coat. Yoongi walked over.

"Did you break up with him?" He asked.

"Yes," I said. "I'm sorry I let this happen."

"It's fine," Yoongi said. "It's over now."

I bent down on one knee and looked into Taehyung's eyes.

"Do you forgive me?"

He nodded. I looked over at Jimin. He smiled weakly and nodded. I stood up and looked around at the rest of them. They all smiled at me. Showing me an affection I knew I would never deserve.

I spent the next few hours trying to stay busy. I made dinner and cleaned the same places a thousand times. The house was uncharacteristically quiet. Hoseok did his best to try and cheer everyone up by coming up with a thousand different games to play, but his cheerful words fell on deaf ears. Finally, as the day came to an end everyone went to bed exhausted despite our largely inactive day. As I sat on my bed, at last alone with my thoughts, tears began to stream down my face uncontrollably. All I could do was sit there and cry as quietly as possible so as to not wake up the boys. When I heard the sound of one of their bedroom doors open, the sadness turned to anger at myself. I quickly wiped away the tears and tried to remove any trace of them. My door opened slowly and Jin peered in.

"What is it, honey?" I asked.

Jin came in, studying my face in his usual concerned manner. Although he didn't say anything, I knew he realized I'd been crying. He sat down on the bed next to me. His soft brown eyes gazing at me with such compassion that I almost started crying again.

"Mom, is there anything I can do to help you?" He asked.

"Oh, Jin." I couldn't help smiling. "You've been helping me since the first day you could walk."

I ran my hand through his hair gently. I knew he felt a great deal of pressure being the oldest. But the last thing I wanted was for him to waste his childhood away worrying about me.

"I just... don't want you to give up." Jin said.

"Give up on what?" I asked.

"Finding someone else."

I pulled him into a hug. I understood where he was coming from, but I had already made up my mind. I wasn't going to date anyone else. I needed to focus on the people that really matter in my life. My seven precious angels.

"Mom, I'm so sorry I failed you." Jin said so softly I could barely hear it.

Before I could respond a loud crack of thunder shook the house. I hadn't even realized it was raining. I heard screams of terror from the other rooms followed by the sound of a thousand frightened horses racing to my room. The door burst open and five boys poured into the room, followed by a still half a sleep Yoongi. They all climbed onto the bed. Taehyung and Jungkook both tried to squeeze onto my lap. When they realized they couldn't both fit they started an intense tickle fight to declare a victor. While they did so Jimin came up next to me and laid his head on my lap. Yoongi placed the pillow he'd carried in with him on the floor and went right back to sleep. Namjoon scooted next to Jin.

"Is it alright if we sleep in here tonight Mom?" He asked.

"Just tonight." I said reluctantly.

But that reluctance faded as I watched the boys being playful again. Hoseok had joined Taehyung and Jungkook's battle for his own amusement and nothing else. The giggling and playing lasted well into the night. But I didn't mind. Their smiles showed me two things, we'd weathered yet another crisis, and I was right in my decision to stay single.