Ruined (A BTS fanfiction)

Chapter 6 - Paranoia?

I stepped out of the police station, a great weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn't have to worry about it anymore, the police could handle it. I could move on. I walked home almost giddy with relief. But that giddiness disappeared as soon as I saw what was sitting on the doorstep waiting for me. Another box. I scooped it up and rushed to my room as soon as I opened the door. I shoved it under my bed just as Jungkook came in. He greeted me happily, blissfully unaware anything was wrong.

It wasn't until much later I had the opportunity to open it. My hands were shaking so badly I could barely get it open. But to my surprise, the box was empty. There was, however, a drawing of eyes on the bottom. They glared up at me. Even though it was empty, I felt sick. I closed the box, put it under the bed again, and did my best to put it out of my mind. But I got a phone call again that night. I didn't answer. And day after day, it continued. I started waking up earlier so I could get the boxes before the boys woke up. Soon it was all I could think about. Why was he doing this? I knew it was him. Every time the phone rang my heart stopped. Under my bed was quickly filled with boxes. I was paranoid. I hated leaving the boys home alone but I couldn't find another babysitter. I ran home every day in a panic. Fear consumed my every thought. I hated it. I must have been overreacting. He wouldn't actually do anything. He just wanted to upset me. I tried to hide it from the boys as much as possible. But every smile hurt.

Soon it had worn on me too much. I sat in my room staring at the latest empty box. Wishing for it to just disappear. I jumped when I heard the sound of my phone ringing. I was so mentally exhausted I just collapsed on my bed and tried to ignore it. But it only rang two or three times. It had sounded so distant. Where had I left it? I sat up, worried and confused. I sat there for a moment listening, dread building. My heard stopped when I heard someone speak.

"Just leave us alone!" Jin cried.

I sprung off my bed, threw open the door, and ran into the living room. I snatched the phone away from Jin. The call had ended. I looked at Jin, all the emotions I'd been suppressing boiling over.

"Why did you do that?" I yelled. "You can't just answer the phone like that when you don't know who it is. You should know better than that!"

"I'm sorry!" Jin apologized immediately. "I thought it might be important a-and you've been so stressed out lately... I just wanted to help."

"You weren't helping!" I put my hands in my face.

Jin stuttered out a few more apologies. But I was so angry they fell on deaf ears.

"Tell me, what did he say?" I asked.

Jin tried to choke out an answer but tears starting streaming down his face. And somehow, the sight of my child crying only made me angrier. I asked him again and again, more and more aggressively each time. I grabbed his shoulders and finally he answered.

"I'm going to ruin your lives. I've done it so many times. You deserve it... It's already happening, isn't it?"

Jin was sobbing uncontrollably as he repeated the words. He looked at me with so much guilt in his eyes.

"He's right, isn't he?" Jin choked out. "It's my fault, isn't it? I keep messing things up."

Finally, I saw what I was doing. How could I have let it get this far?

"No, no!" I said. "It's not your fault. Oh, Jin. I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have yelled at you. Please, don't think like that."

I pulled him into a hug. Trying desperately to undo some of the damage I had done. I held him in my arms for a long time, stroking his hair. As he was calming down, we were both startled by a cough. We turned to see the other boys standing in the doorways to their rooms. They all glared at Namjoon who was having a coughing fit. I let go of Jin, who was trying to hide the fact he'd been crying. I motioned for all of them to come down. They all shuffled out of their rooms and sat on the couches. Namjoon put his arm around Jin, trying to comfort him, but he was still coughing.

"What happened?" Jimin asked.

"Well, someone has been sending some rude things to me, but-" I started.

"It's Jinyoung, isn't it?" Yoongi interrupted.

"Yoongi don't interrupt like that," Jin said.

Yoongi and Jin glared at each other. I wondered if something had happened between them.

"I don't know for sure," I said. "But I told the police and they're going to take care of it so there's nothing to worry about, okay?"

The room was silent for a minute.

"I trust you, Mommy," Taehyung said, smiling at me.

"Of course, we trust you!" Hoseok chimed in. "You are giver of life and giver of pancakes!"

"Pancakes!" Jungkook said excitedly.

The atmosphere changed as they all giggled and talked of their love for pancakes. They had soon run off to play some game, leaving only me, Jin, and Yoongi. Yoongi stood up slowly. He didn't look at either of us as he left. I knew something had happened but I needed to deal with a few other things before I could talk to him. I walked over to Jin and bent down next to him.

"I love you," I said. "You believe me, don't you?

He smiled softly at me, "I trust you, Mommy. more than anyone in the world."

I felt tears building up. But we were once again interrupted by the sound of Namjoon coughing. I started to worry that he was sick. And sure enough, when I took his temperature he was sick.

That incident with Jin had been the last straw. I was sick of letting this control my life. When I talked to the police and heard that they'd made no real progress, I finally took action. I applied for a restraining order on Jinyoung. I changed my phone number. And because of how much I hated leaving the boys alone, I decided to get security cameras installed. So, now I could use my phone to check on them while I was at work. Still, as I sat at the kitchen table trying to figure out how we would pay for the cameras, the feeling that I was just being paranoid returned. Was it paranoia? Or was it...