As Plain As Black And White

5

Days went past and I found out more about my condition through James. I'm not the first person to have it but it's very rare. James told me I'm rare.. he also told me that means special.

He called me special. Sometimes I forget how dangerous it is for us to be together so I have to keep reminding myself it is just a slave and his master.

It was the middle of the day and he was sitting on the desk chair and I was sitting against the door.

"Why do you always sit over there while I'm all the way over here?" I shrug. "We're going back to shrugging now. I made it clear that you can talk to me."

"Doesn't mean that I'll do it."

"True. Well how about I teach you to read." I raised an eye brow. I already know how to read but he doesn't know. I shake my head no. "Is it because it you don't trust me why you don't talk like how you talking to Camille? Or do you like Camille?" He raised an eye brow.

"Oh no. She's just a friend. I don't trust you because-" there was banging on the door and I stood up and looked for my duster and began dusting his room. "Is that boy in here? He needs to come down here and do his damn job." The lady of the house asked in anger.

"He's almost finished dusting. I kept sneezing last night cause the dust was unbearable."

"He's got 1 minute." He waiting till she was completely gone before he gently snatched my arm.

"Right after dinner, meet me behind the Gazebo in the back." I nod my head and go down to the kitchen. I wonder what he needs to see me about.

"So apparently. The lady's friend and daughter are coming tomorrow to wed James and the Daughter." Ms. Debby says. Everyone in the kitchen gossiped. I was in shock. I knew that I didn't want that but I knew I had no say. I knew this wasn't gonna work so why am I so hurt.

Camille looked at me. "Oh honey. It's okay. I know you like him but everyone has to make sacrifices."

"I mean I have no feelings towards him so I don't care." I lie.

"Oh baby. You don't have to lie to me. But keep telling yourself that because it will hurt less when the day comes." She held my face. "If it comes." She rubbed my shoulders and smiled. I had to force a smile showing her I wasn't worried.

6:00 dinner time. Penny went and told everyone it was dinner time. The family sat down and they spoke and joked. I envy them. A mother and a father. They have no cares for anyone or anything.
"Are you excited for Isabelle's visit?" I heard them ask James. I was in the kitchen eavesdropping.

"Nasir water." Camille gave me the pitcher and shoved me out in the dining room. I saw James staring at me the whole time as I refilled their glasses. I didn't want to hear his answer so I focus on pouring the water.

"James." The lady brang him back in to reality.

"Yeah."

"Your answer. Are you excited?"

"Yes." I feel my heart sink. I don't know why I even care. I finish refilling the glasses and just watched them wine and dine. I wanted to cry but I didn't. Shedding tears for what?

Dinner came to an end and I was dreading seeing him. The slaves finished cleaning while the family slept safe and sound in their beds. We were finished cleaning and I stayed behind and went around to the back of the house to their gazebo. I went around and sat on the ground where I was shivering because it was so cold. I scooted into the gazebo and I bumped into another body. I jumped.
"Well hello to you too." I scoot back. "come back."

"No thank you."

"Like we were talking about earlier; why don't you ever come close to me?"

"Because I don't trust you. You're white. I am Black. Do you know if we get caught right? I will be in trouble. I am just a slave who thoughts are as equal as a half of a penny. I am a no one. Whereas your word hold meaning. You can have me killed in a whisper for this. So imagine if I get close or if I act on my feelings, I will be no more."

"Act on your feelings? What do you mean?"

"That's all you heard?"

"Yes." He chuckles.

"It means I want to get near you but I can't."

"But you're shivering. Alright how about we forget about the color of our skin and enjoy each other's company ." He smiles at me "trust me." He hold his arms out and I just made my way to him.

"Do you mind if I lay-" before I could finish asking he guided my head into his chest. He was so warm and safe and he smelled wonderful.

"Better?" I nod. "So I know you heard about Isabella."

"Who's that? I have not heard of her." I lied

"It's the daughter of my mother's friend."

"Oh I didn't know." He began to laugh. His laugh became contagious. "Why are you laughing?"

"Cause you're lying."

"No." I said clutching my chest out of shock. He laughed harder and I did the same."yeah I am." We continued to laugh till we couldn't breath. This felt amazing like it was just us and there was no racism.

"But honestly though. Are you thinking about marrying her?"

"I don't know her."

"So what? The name Isabella so classy."

"Well I like the name Nasir." I look up at him with the facial expression of disbelief. "Yeah I think it's sexy." He winks I laugh and tap his chest.

"Mhmm Isabella and James sitting in-" I began to sing but he sang louder than me.

"James and Nasir sitting in a tree" he sang as I look up at him smiling. " K-I-S-S...." he trailed as he got closer "I-N-G" his lips met mine and he put my hand on his chin while he put his hands on my waist. His lips fit perfectly in mine. Almost like it was meant to be there. This felt so nice. This was my first kiss and I knew it would be my last if I kept it going. It took all my strength but I pulled away. I bit my lip

"I got to go." I try to stand.

"Wait no. Please." I was pulled back down.

"James this dangerous." I sat in front of him. "I could get hung for this."

"I would never let that happen. You hear me?" He was serious. I nodded "No Nasir. Speak. Do you hear me?"

"Yes. But James your father could lash me till I bleed if he found out."

"Then he will never find out." He says calmly rubbing my cheek and kissed my forehead.

"Promise?"

"Promise." We locked pinkies. "Do you mind if I get another one of those-" I laughed and leaned in kissing his lips. I smiled in the kiss knowing he was exactly what I wanted. I really like him. I've never felt this way before and I'm quite scared. Everything can go wrong. But the thing that scares me the most is that I don't care.