As Plain As Black And White

6

I was eating breakfast with my mother. Today was Saturday so we got a break from school but not working. We work everyday of the year. I was nervous about today so I just couldn't eat.
"Nasir why you not eating?"

"I'm just not hungry."

"Why is that?"

"Cause momma, how did it feel when you were in love with Father?"

"Wha-" she was confused but she sighed and chuckled. "That man is beautiful. His mind, his features, his heart." She looked down. "He was always getting into trouble. He couldn't help it. He was always so curious." She laughed and her eyes became glassy. "Everytime we were together it was like no one else mattered. It was just him and I. That man is my world. Then we had you." She looked up tears rolling down her face. "And I fell in love again." She wiped her face. "That's how I knew I loved him"

"We'll see him again."

"I'm praying baby. I am." She dries her face and raised a brow. "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I think I might be in love." I smile

"With who?" He eyes widen.

"A boy."

"A BOY?!!" She yells, Scaring me in the process

"Yes. That's okay right?"

"Of course. I'm glad for you. And when do I get to meet this boy?"

"I don't know." I shrug. She giggles "Boy you look just like you father, you know that?"

"You tell me all the time." I stand up and dust my clothes off. "I'm leaving for laundry. I'll be back." She nods and I grab my first clothes and hers as well and go down to the well to wash clothes.

"Hey Nasir." I hear Penny walk up to me. "It seems like everyone is washing clothes today. Scoot." I did as I was told and she sat next to me. "We gotta go to work soon. I'm not to excited about this get together."

"I'm not too happy either." We sat and just talked. Laughing, sometimes arguing. We've always seen things differently. I finished and I went back to bunk and hung things to dry.

I heard the Galloping of horses and I watched as a wagon pull up the the master's house. Which stood the family in front ready to welcome anything that comes out of the wagon. I saw James standing with his hands behind his back, waiting. The wagon came to a stop and the coachman gets off to help unload the wagon. He gets back on and ride off.

When he leaves, a girl with very light hair turns and looks at where we live with the wind blowing through her hair. She was beautiful. I feel a lump in my throat.
"What you doing out here so long?" I look and saw my mom staring at me.

"Nothing." I look back and saw the family entering the house. I turned back around and I think I turned to fast because I got dizzy and I tried to catch myself but I fell. My mom caught me and I vomited outside of the bunk.

"You okay?" People gathered around to make sure I was okay.I felt weak as the brought me to my bed.

"It's the heat. Get him some water." I heard. I think it was the heat cause I was sweating a lot. I had people fanning me and bringing me water. I felt bad because they didn't have to.

"Thank you." I said faintly. The crowd prayed for me and went back to enjoy their Saturday. As for my mom, she never left my side.
"I guess I will have to be Nasir today." She referred to my job. My mom works in the farm all week.

"Mom I'm fine." I tried to sit up to be pushed right back down.

"Zuri will be here soon to take care of you." Zuri is Penny's daughter who is 12 years old.
"Bye Nasir." She put on her shoes and walked out of the bunk.

I sat there and thought about what they could be long right now. Like holding hands and kissing. I just thought of the lips that were once in mine on someone else's and I got up and went outside to throw up. I came back and Zuri walked in with some water.

"Looks like you can use some water."

"Thanks Z."

"No problem." She took out her chalk board and began to right "while you You rest, I'll do my homework."

"I don't want to rest. Can I help?"

"I want you to rest."

"Please."

"Oh okay." So we played different spelling games and we wrote sentences and I completely forgot I was sick. I saw Zuri falling asleep. So I let her sleep and then fell asleep.

I dreamed of what it would be like if I was white. I could go where I wanted to go. Say what what I want, and do as I please. What a world. But I wouldn't want to be another race. Black is strong. Black is all I know.

I heard shuffling in the bunk and I shot up and saw my mom getting into bed and Zuri's chair empty.
"It's night time already?"

"Yesum."

"Well how did things go?"

"That new family is beautiful and I just have a feeling they're gonna get married but you know what's funny?" I didn't want to hear anything she had to say. My heart was already bruised. "As Soon as Master asked where you were, I told them you were throwing up from heat exhaustion and Sir James wanted to run down here."

"Did he?" I can almost hear my heart beat through my chest.

"Yeah. He kept questioning me and I had to keep telling him you were fine."

"Hmm." I chuckle. "Well momma I've been in here all day. Im gonna go for a walk."

"Want me to come?"

"No. You've been working hard all day." I smile and walk out. I sped walk to the gazebo and waited. The most he could do is check if I'm here. He's been in Isabella's face all day. After a while I was getting ready to walk away when I saw 2 figures walking my way.

"And this is the gazebo." I heard James.

"It's very pretty at night."

"Yeah I know."

"So James..." She turned her back and I looked of the gazebo enough for him to see me. He was faced in my direction and he looked right at me. I smiled. He looked back at her and she smiled and kissed his cheek. I dropped me smile and he quickly brought them back inside of the house. Once the coast was clear. I got myself together and walked back to the bunk.

I knew this wouldn't work. I'm such a joke. My heart isn't just bruised now. It's broken.