frank,
why are you always to mean to me? you made me cry today, asshole. i'm so mad at you.
you beat me up - as if i don't get hit enough at home. except you don't know that. you punched me and kicked me, and you told me that you hated me over and over again. but i don't hate you, i could never hate you - well, not for long periods of time, i mean. i do hate you, but i can't stay mad at you, i just can't do it.
sometimes i want to kill myself, you know? because of the things you say to me. but i don't, for you. i stay alive for you. if i'm gone would i be missed? really? i don't have that many friends, they'd get over me pretty quickly. i'd just be another face in a crowd to some people, they wouldn't even know me.
i feel like if i hung myself or overdosed then the world would be a better place. but.. it's ok. i don't know if i mean it this time. but it's ok. everything's fine.
you totally don't hurt me with your insults, and the way you make out with your stupid boyfriend. it's like you know, and you're trying your best to make me feel like crap all of the time. and it's working, it's really fucking working if that's your plan. so well done for making someone want to die. you fucking succeeded, dickhead.
i think i actually hate you this time. and it isn't just a day this time, or even a week. i fucking hate you, frank iero, but i also love you and that's what bothers me. your smile, your voice, your laugh, it could make me smile for days. but there's also that malicious smile, that taunting voice and that mocking laugh that hurts and makes me want to cry for days.
there's two sides to you, and i only love one of them. that sweet, funny side that makes everyone want to laugh and joke around with each other and when you're happy. then the side that only a few people see, and that's the bully side.
i just don't understand how i could hate and love one person so much.
i love you, damn.
from ryan.
