Angels Can Fly

Chapter 5

   I reread the messages between my mom and I smile. I can't believe I finally have a boyfriend again, after so long. I put my phone away and focus on my feet. I'm walking to the cafeteria for the first time this year to eat lunch with Lucas and his friends. As I walk in, my eyes immediately look for him, and when they find him, I stop dead in my tracks. Sitting in his lap, looking as comfortable as she pleases, is Kimberly, who's smiling at him. He's smiling back, he's arm around her waist. The picture perfect couple. I struggle to breathe; I was a fool. Lucas sees me and for a split second, he looks guilty, but then it's gone so fast I couldn't be sure it was there at all. Kim sees me and hungrily kisses him. I take the opportunity to slip out and into a bathroom. I send my mom: It was a prank. She answers: I'm coming! I slump down and close my eyes, trying to breathe. I count to ten then count backwards. Slowly, my breathing returns to normal, and I stand up and begin the walk to the office, back to my emotionless mask. When I step out of the bathroom, though, Lucas and Kimberly are arguing, loudly. "She took advantage..." Blah blah blah. I walk past, not looking, and she trips me, laughing when I fall. Lucas looks on without a word as I slowly stand up and continue walking, not looking back. I walk into the office, and write down on a piece of paper that my mom is coming to get me. I sit down in a back room, out of the line of sight of anyone who came into the office. Lucas comes in after a few minutes, looking for me, but the receptionist says I already left. I make a note to thank her when I leave.

Ten minutes later, my mom comes rushing in and I walk out to meet her, running right into her arms. I see Lucas over her shoulder and I know, from the look on his face, I know he sees me. I pull my mom away and to the car, hearing him call out my name. I don't turn and I don't breathe again until we're safely away from the school. Then, as I exhale, my breath comes out in a sob and my mom glances over, trying to cajole me. I just flinch away and try to breathe. He had single-handily gotten me out of my shell, just to break me and put me in a thicker, deeper, harder one. All that would surprise me now is if he came back.

I jinxed myself.

I walk into school the next day, my arms and neck covered in bandages from my new cuts. I keep my head down and try—fail—to ignore all the sympathetic stares. I don't talk to anyone and avoid the occasional stuck out foot. Suddenly, I bump into a solid, almost familiar chest. I look up... And scream.