The Decision (viners)

40: These Boys

Madilyn's POV

I have been sitting in my room in the same spot for two hours now, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. I thought about Shawn, and I thought about Matt. I also thought about Taylor, and a little about Cameron. I thought about these four boys, these four amazing boys that are so nice to me and I have no idea why. I don't deserve it. I also thought about Jack Gilinsky, and about Jack Johnson.. I know they're going to college when the summer ends and I may not ever see them again. That's why Jack and I could never work, it just couldn't..

Matt is my best friend. He understands me, listens to me, he cares. He's always there for me when I need him, no matter what. He'll let me rant to him about something stupid and something big. He'll come over to my house when I'm bored and have absolutely nothing to do. He will laugh with me and be bored with me, eat pounds of junk food as we lounge up in my room almost every night of the week. He'll stay up until 3 AM with me, just being my best friend.

Shawn loves me. He loves me enough to put up will all of my bullshit. He wants to know about my life, he actually cares and he's not just curious. He wants to know about me, he wants to know my past and where I come from.. He'll always remind me that I'm beautiful when I don't exactly feel the same way. He makes me feel beautiful. He is an amazing boyfriend, and maybe that's just it, he's too good. I don't deserve him.

Taylor forgave me. He forgave me after I kissed someone else on our date. He calls me a slut but he does it because he doesn't want me to do this to myself, he cares about my reputation. I don't really have a 'reputation,' but any I had a chance of having, I was ruining it by messing with guys feelings. Taylor reminded me of what I was doing so I could try to make it better. He cared about me in a different type of way. He injures me a lot but each and every time he freaks out and beats himself up for it, even though it's kind of funny now because it happens quite often.  Nonetheless, Taylor cares.

Cameron... Cameron is one of the biggest flirts I have ever met, but I can't help but want to just be with him. I want him to focus all of his attention on me instead of flirting with every other girl, I don't care how selfish that sounds. It has to mean something that I get jealous when he flirts with different girls. If he was just my friend, I wouldn't care at all. But it makes me mad when I see it, because it should only be me. Cameron has some weird way of making me feel like that. He calls me gorgeous, sends me goodnight texts, and makes me feel special when I don't even know if he means it or not.

So here I stand, in front of my bed as I stare at the articles of clothing lying in front of me. Taylor's sweatshirt lays here with his red bandana on top. Next to it lays Cam's sweatshirt, and next to that is Matt's sweatshirt. On the other end is two of Shawn's sweatshirt, with his sweatpants lying on top. And I don't know what to do with all of it.

I sigh just as there's a light knock on my bedroom door before it opens slowly. I turn around to see both of the Jacks standing there. "Hey." Johnson says.

"Hey..?" I say with confusion. What are they doing here? "Did my mom let you guys in?"

They both nod, and Gilinsky says, "We came to say goodbye." and I frown. I don't mean to, my mouth just forms into a frown because they're leaving. And this time I know that it's going to be the last time I'll see them. "We're going back home."

Before I know it, my eyes are filled with tears. "Group hug?" I squeak, laughing a little as they come towards me and pull me into the group hug of three like old times. I missed this, we used to do this all the time. This time it didn't bother me that I couldn't breathe and they were squishing me between them. "I love you guys."

"We love you too," they say at the same time as we all pull away from each other. I wipe some tears from my face and notice that they're both frowning.

"I'm going to let you guys say goodbye, then I'll come back and say bye to you by myself." Jack J says before leaving me room, closing the door behind him. I'm left in my room with Gilinsky, and he instantly pulls me into his chest.

"I love you." he says.

"I love you too." I say, meaning it. He kisses the top of my head and we stand there in silence for a moment.

"Pick Matt." he then says, both surprising and confusing me.

I pull away, "What?"

"Matt loves you," he smiles sadly, "and I know you can see it just like the rest of us."

"But..."

"It really hurts knowing someone else is going to be making you happy the way that I wanted to. But if it's Matt, then I'm happy. I know that we can't be together anymore, but I love you and I always will. We've always had something special and I'm never going to forget it."

He grabs my face gently and leans down until his lips are hovering over mine. He connects his lips to mine, and before I could even register what was happening, it was over. "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too. I love you Jack." I wrap my arms tightly around him again, closing my eyes and enjoying the moment while it lasted. But he was gone all too soon, he gave me another kiss on the forehead before whispering one more goodbye, leaving the room so Jack J could come back in. Now it was just me and Johnson, and he pulled me into a hug also.

"I'm gonna miss you kid." he says, making me laugh as I hug him even tighter. "I need to tell you something before I leave."

"What?" I ask, and he takes a deep breath.

"You know how I always notice things that go on, so of course I noticed all the tension between you as those four boys. I can tell you have something going on, and I just want to tell you... I think Taylor is the one."

Once again, I'm confused. Jack G tells me to go with Matt, but Jack J says to go with Taylor. "I don't know what I'm going to do." I admit, and he just rubs my back soothingly.

"You need to take a break from all of it and figure everything out. Just be careful, okay?" he says and I nod. I've always been glad to have a friend like him. "Okay Madilyn, I guess this is goodbye for good. Maybe we'll see you in the future, who knows?"

"Yeah," I smile. "Who knows."

"Stay out of trouble." he gives me a real Jack Johnson smile before leaving my room. And just like that, they were out of my life for good. Actually I could just text or call them any time I wanted but yeah I just wanted to be dramatic.

I'm going to take Jack's advice and just take a break from all of this. I guess that means that I'll also have to take a break with Shawn.

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hey!!! this chapter was kind of long for me so um maybe u should comment ;) Lol actually it probably wasn't long at all bc I suck at making long chapters but comment anyway pls ily

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