Living Dystopia

XIV.

XIV.

Bagamat nag-aalangan sa tanong ay nilakasan ni Adrian ang loob banggitin ang tungkol kay Gaia, ang sinasabing kapatid niya. Habang nakakuyom ang parehong kamao, ay naghihintay siya sa magiging sagot ng kanyang nakaratay na ama na tila hindi alam kung papaano sisimulan ang kanyang mga salitang sasambitin.

"Your half sister... yes, my daughter..." Panandalian pa itong natahimik na tila napapaisip sa sasabihin niya. "Siya ang bunga ng galit ko sa inyong ina. Anak ko siya kay Geneva, ang babaeng minsan kong naging kabit."

Instead of storming out of anger, the siblings remained silent as they listened to their father. Adrian's jaw clenched, while Aldrin... seems like he knew all of these since then. He's got no reaction. His face was dull and all you could see are worries for his father. Ni hindi man lang siya nagugulat sa bawat sikretong ibinubunyag ng kanyang ama.

"I admit, we had an affair. Nabuntis ko siya at... 'di ko siya pinanagutan. You both know how much I love your mom. I maybe had a mistake because of my anger but, I didn't mean all of those. Tinalikuran ko si Geneva noon without thinking what I'm doing. Nagsama ulit kami ng Mom niyo na parang wala akong kasalanang nagawa. Pinatuloy ko sa pamamahay ko ang anak niya sa tarantadong rapist niya sa pag-aakalang baka roon, maaring makabawi ako sa mga maging kasalanan ko kahit sa maliit na paraan lang, pero lintek lang talaga ang walang ganti." His voice was full of regrets. He's probably blaming himself for all of these. Alam kong nagsisisi siya sa mga nagawa niya. I could clearly see it from his eyes.

"Lahat ng nagawa kong kasalanan ay pinagbabayaran ko ngayon. I cheated to my wife, I abandoned my child, I'm mistreating my wife's son, I keep secrets to all of you. Napakamakasalanan ko. I feel so embarrassed laying here right now in front of you. Wala na nga yata akong maihaharap sa inyo. Now look what I've got? I'm dying. Karma is really a bitch."

'Yes, you deserve all of this.' Adrian couldn't put his thoughts into words. He's speechless. He can't say anything to his father though his emotions were overflowing. He wanted to yell at him for all the shortcomings he'd done as a father and a husband as well.

"I remember my grandpa also died because of this fucking tumor. He's also an asshole, definitely like me. He cheated to my grandma, and he died without saying sorry to his wife. I don't want to be like him. Gusto ko, bago ako mawala ay maitama ko ang lahat ng pagkakamali ko. Gusto kong makabawi sa inyo, sa inyong lahat" Now he started crying. God! They both don't know what to react. They've never seen this man crying not until now. They know him as a strong, strict, and brave warrior. Never in their wildest dreams they expected to see him crying. This is just so awkward, especially for Adrian. He's now seeing the impudent man drowning with regrets and tears. "Pero hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa ba sa lagay kong ito. Nahihiya na ako... pati sa anak ko sa labas. Gaia, she never experienced life. Masyadong naging malupit ang mundo sa kanya. Hindi ko man lang siya nabigyan ng marangyang buhay. Hindi ko man lang naiparanas sa kanya ang pagkakaroon ng isang buong pamilya. Gusto kong makabawi sa kanya..."

Adrian bit his lower lip while listening to his father. Now, he feel guilty. That Gaia... the real child of his father. That responsible girl who is full of passion and love. Hindi niya man lang naranasan ang marangyang buhay na dapat niyang matamasa. Hindi niya man lang nakapiling ang kanyang tatay habang lumalaki siya... hindi tulad ni Adrian. Si Adrian na isang rebeldeng may pera, bahay, kotse, at mga magulang. Kung titignan silang dalawa ay masasabing isang napakasamang anak ni Adrian.

"Please.... my sons, kung mawala na ako sa mundong ito, please take good care of your sister. She suffered enough. She deserves the world.”

'Your sister.' Those two words of his father echoed in Adrian's mind. It lingers there like a fucking leech and he sudden felt like he was drained. His sister, si Gaia. Wala namang kakaiba roon, kaya 'di niya alam kung bakit bigla muling sumiklab ang pagkainis sa loob niya.

"Please let her experience the life she deserves—" Napatigil ang kanilang ama sa pagsasalita nang biglang marahas na tumayo si Adrian habang nakakuyom ang magkabilang kamao. Bigla na lamang itong tumalikod sa kanila at mabilis na lumabas ng kwarto.

Pagkalabas na pagkalabas ni Adrian ay sinalubong ng paningin niya ang kanyang ina na katabi si Gaia... ang kapatid niya.

Mas lalo lang siyang nabwisit at wala sa sariling lumakad palayo habang iniisip kung ano ba talaga ang ikinakagalit niya. ‘Fuck this! What the hell is happening to me?’ He silently murmurs.

***