After The Sunset

3:42 pm

a month before you left me,

you told me let's do this. let's make this work this time. I smiled. knowing you, things will be back to the same place after a couple of days.

two weeks before you left me,

we were fighting. and you keep telling me that you're sorry. you're sorry that you hurt me. you're sorry that you can't keep your promises, you told me that I deserve someone better than you. I cried, because this feels like the first step of goodbye.

three days before you left me,

you keep telling me about your new friend, you told me about how she understand you, you told me how she knew that you feel like a dog on a leash. so you asked for space, I did what you wanted me to do. it breaks me to pieces but its okay. I will be okay.

six months after you left me,

I still couldn't shake the thought of me being not good enough for anybody because you're still with her and I couldn't help but think maybe its really me. maybe I really did make you feel suffocate because I was too dependent and I was too needy.

a year after you left me,

we met a the grocery store and you told me that I've changed a lot. you asked me about how's life been treating me and I'm not surprised when I find out that you're still with her.

you offer me to go grab some coffee and I don't even know why I agreed. guess you still got your charm on me.

you still remember my favorite drink and you still are a gentleman, insist to pay for my drink because you're the one that asking me to go with you. I couldn't complain, there's no used to it anyway.

we talked. and you ended up telling me you're sorry about how you treated me. you said the same thing that you always said after we're done fighting. you said you're sorry. for hurting me, for breaking your promises, for not being enough for me. by the time you told me that I deserve better, I couldn't help but walk away and leave you not even caring when you called my name telling me to stop.

I didn't.

because if I did, I will fall to the same pit that you created for me and I'm no longer the same girl that you used to play.

- you said it yourself, I've changed.