Hope In Our Eyes #GoldStarAwards2017Winner

Wonder (Aspen)

"I told you... Aspen I told... I wouldn't let you leave me behind. And I... didn't. You... Aspen?"

"Olive... Olive, don't leave me. Don't leave me behind. Please" 

"Go home, Aspen. Tell Violet... Cedar... mom, dad..."

"Olive? Olive?!" 

"...tell them... protect them. Don't let... don't let them be... like Ana's family."

"I won't, Ol, I won't. I'll... oh, Olive, why? Why do you have to leave?!"

"And... Elliot. Get him to talk again. Get him to tell you... a story. He's good at..."

"Olive?... Olive! Olive no, Olive... OLIVE!"

-

I drag myself out of the memory; painful words, Olive's ice cold hand, my sobs, frantic voice, dead eyes...

I want to cry. I want to just lay here in the snow forever and cry. But I can't. It's as if the frigid cold has wormed its way all the way into my heart, clenching it with an unforgiving fist and making it impossible for me to feel anything.

Something flies across he sky and lots out the eerily bright full moon. The silver light disappears and I close my eyes. The whole world turns dark.

I stares into the void he backs of my eyelids create and wonder. Wonder what if I'd been able to save her. Wonder what if she'd never been reaped. Wonder what if I'd never been reaped. What if the Games were never even created? Wonder, wonder, wonder... 

Olive wasn't just my sister. She was... family. Okay, obviously she was family, she was my sister. But I just mean... I don't know. I inhale and exhale deeply.

I try again.

"Olive..." I whisper. I hear someone shift and quiet.

"Aspen?" Someone asks.

"Olive was more than my sister, she was more than our friend. She was so much more. She deserved so much more."

"She did." The person whispers. I open my eyes and make out Eisley, a silhouette in the silver midnight light. I stare at her, eyes glowing, hair flaming. There's a long pause.

"Why'd she have to leave?" I ask.

"I don't know," Eisley says. "I... really don't... know."

"I wonder..."

-As soon as we wake up, we cover the fire, pack up, and depart to go hunting. It just gets colder and colder as we go, and soon I find my teeth chattering.

"There aren't any damn animals." Hazel says, shivering. 

"It's too cold," Mackenzie says. "We should go back. Towards the Cornucopia."

"The Careers are near the Cornucopia." I snap.

"Well, that thing that killed Olive is out here, so-" The look I give Eisley makes her words catch in her throat. "Aspen, I didn't mean anything by that."

"Whatever, its fine, just... you're right. We should turn around." I say. I put a tentative finger to my icy cheeks.

"Okay." Hazel says, and turns around, ready to lead us. She really doesn't let her age define her.

We walk for hours until we finally hit the first signs of life. The snow melts away to reveal lush green grass and the trees sprout leaves of multitudinous shades of green.

"Final-"

"Shh!" Hazel hushes Mackenzie, because she's spotted something in the green clearing ahead; a fat, white rabbit. My stomach growls and my mouth begins to water at the anticipation of food.

Hazel gestures for us to surround the rabbit. We make a large circle around it, then rush in on her signal. Mackenzie's knife nicks it's ear, my sword grazes it's back as I dive for the jittery animal. I slide across the grass with a grunt. 

"Don't let it get away!" That's Hazel.

Eisley stands right in the rabbit's tracks and brings her sword down on it, but only manages to shave off a good bit of rabbit fur.

"I'm better with an axe." She protests.As the rabbit skirts around Eisley, Hazel and Mackenzie rush in and lunge for it. They slide together, trapping the rabbit between them. I scuttle over and close my hand around the rabbit's fat stomach as Hazel slits it's throat.

"There," she pants. "Easy." She smiles. Mackenzie smiles back and giggles a little bit. I smile weakly.

We skin and gut the rabbit, then make a small fire and roast it to perfection, cubing it with Mackenzie's knife and serving it on large waxy leaves.

Eisley goes off and comes back after a few minutes with berries, which we add to the meal.

We don't talk throughout our late lunch, just inhale the berries and cubes of rabbit meat. A cannon sounds somewhere far off but we pay no mind. Or, we pretend to. I think cant help but think about Olive, and the long, resounding boom of her cannon.

Then, when we're done, we put out the fire and head towards the Cornucopia.

"We should at least see what kinda shape they're in." Eisley says, referring to the Careers.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Let's go."

We continue or trek and arrive at the Cornucopia at dusk. After careful inspection, we discover that the Careers are not there. "We should raid for supplies!" Mackenzie whisper-shouts.

"No way! We'll get killed!" Eisley protests. 

"It's wore a shot, and besides, who cares." It's not a question, but a statement. "I don't have anything to live for."

"What about the rest of your family, Aspen?" Eisley snaps. I think about the photograph in my jacket pocket. Mother's caring eyes, father's square jaw and shoulders, Violet's hands... I frown.

"Sorry," I say, then pause. "I still think we should go, though."

"It could be good." Hazel shrugs.

"Yeah. And that's three for and one against, sorry, Eisley." Mackenzie counts on her fingers. Eisley sighs.

We get our weapons ready and stalk up to the pile of supplies. I grab a backpack that already has some supplies in it and add some dried beef and apples and grab an extra knife; a nasty serrated blade with something reddish-brown dried onto it. I set it down, thinking it's obviously used he Careers may notice it's gone. I find another, smaller, curved blade and toss it in my bag.

Mackenzie, Eisley, Hazel, and I meet up closer to the Cornucopia and look through our supples; several snippets of different foods, enough to last us a good few days if were careful, weapons, iodine, bandages, two sleeping bags, some pieces of tarp, a loaf of bread that's surprisingly not stale. Sponsor gift, I think.

We split the supplies up between two backpacks, one for me and one for Hazel. We decide to use the buddy system if we ever have to separate. Mackenzie will go with Hazel, and Eisley with me.

"Okay, lets get it of here before-"

A figure bursts out of the tree line, sprinting for us at full speed. We hardly have time to react before she reaches us. Yes, it's definitely a girl, it's...

"Lily." Hazel says.

"Hi," Lily pants. "Why are you here?! You shouldn't- we need to leave. Now."

"Wait, what? Are-"

"Now!" Lily exclaims and starts to push me towards the trees opposite from where she came. I notice that she doesn't have any weapons or supplies on her. "Come on! Run!"

"Okay..." we start to jog away.

"Run, dammit!" Lily shouts. We break into a run just as the Careers crash into the clearing.