nothing special
just random-ass sentences, rants, poems, and letters.
if i ever post a picture or something
it's usually from google images or somebody else like boya idk
k bye
AY what is up my dudes this yo gaymeboi alastair and dis gon' be helluva chapter bc it gon get rly personal so buckle up and get ready for da swoogy ride
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i am a transgender demi(?) bisexual. my real name is angela, but i am actually alastair. i love my parents and family very much and i would sacrifice this worthless life for them, but the way they treat me as a girl has bothered me very much.
until i was in elementary school, my mom dressed me as a princess and i never said anything about it, yet i remember that i was uncomfortable wearing dresses and skirts when i was young. when i entered elementary, i remember hearing my teacher saying something like: "oh, if you are going to be active and all, i advise you not to wear dresses and skirts too much." of course, that was not why i identify myself as a transgender, but that was the start of the time when i stopped wearing skirts.
but of course, i kept feminine side for a while until i was in 8th grade, coming to realize that i wasn't really suitable to be called a female nor male. i definitely had way more guy friends than female friends; i felt more comfortable hanging out with boys; i never felt comfortable with my name, angela. everything was a shitstorm, with my raging queer-sexuality, depression, nostalgia, and anxiety all working together.
i don't like the idea of labelling myself as something, but ironically put myself into a non-binary/trans-male category, mainly because if i were to tell people what my sexuality and gender orientation was in a short form, then i could easily tell them who i am.
talking about labelling oneself, there are a lot of people i know who don't agree with the idea of labelling their sexualities/gender orientations, and of course, i do too, because our sexuality and gender orientation have so many parts where they blend in together—no distinct lines in the between. but we continue to attempt labelling ourselves because we want to feel the sensation of belonging somewhere in terms of social groups or categories. yet we all know that it is hard.
my mother, who seems to be homophobic and somewhat transphobic, is at least letting me cut my hair short and dress like a boy, which is great for me, yet i am too afraid to come out to her, because of what has happened earlier.
please know that we, including me, love you for who you are, not who you are not. if you are having a hard time being accepted for your true identity, please don't be afraid to contact me or any of us in this platform. like i said, we support you.
anyways, here it is. my coming-out-of-the-closet chapter. i hope this gives you a hint of courage to be who you are without any form of fear.
