Amotos: Hate and Love

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Warning: My own universe (plus cursing and depression)

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""You can't love someone unless you love yourself first." Bullshit. I have never loved myself.
But you?
Oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like."
~ constant-nxthing on Tumblr

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Looking up to the sky, the night started to bloom from the fading light. Watching as the stars started dusting the sky, the grass rustled as footsteps disturbed the silence. Nick looked up at the stars, before turning his gaze to the lady sitting in the grass.

His eye swept over her figure, staring up at the sky as well. However, she looked as though she was lost in thought. He knew that they probably weren't good thoughts. He lowered himself onto the grass, next to the lady.

She finally turned her head to glance at Nick before looking down at her dress, a plain turquoise that looked bright when she wore it. He held a hand out, and she took it in her own. "Bad thoughts?" She looked down once more, this time in shame.

Nick sighed and squeezed her hand tighter, as though to reassure her that he was going to be here no matter what. They both knew it wasn't true; he would have to leave one day. But for now, things were okay.

At least, as good as they were probably going to get.

She squeezed back, and gave a tight smile to him, one not of happiness but one of affection. Towards him. "Achelois, what's wrong?" Her smile faded, and her shoulders hunched, her sapphire eyes turning sad.

A protective feeling washed over Nick, and he squeezed her hand as though to tell her that. It could be anything she was thinking, but it was hurting her. And he knew that she had been hurt enough.

The brand on her right bicep, the metal arm that replaced her left, and the brands on her stomach and lower back. Not to mention depression, anxiety, and self-loathing from her years being told she was worthless. That she was nothing that mattered.

Achelois intertwined their hands, and for a moment those thoughts were swept away. Her eyes held only love and affection as she stared into his one eye. His eye upturned in a way of a smile, as much as he could manage.

"I love you, you know that?" It was something they always said to each other, but Nick had always felt like he had to remind her that she was wanted. It looked as though she tried to absorb these words before replying.

"I love you too." As they stared out into the field of flowers, an array of moon flowers and forget-me-nots', stopping right before the edge of the cliff. Fireflies illuminated the sky around them. The cool breeze rustled the trees behind them.

It was then a thought struck him, something that probably might not resonate well with Achelois but it was a possibility. Eh, he was a memory demon so what he could lose? (Besides Achelois, she was everything.)

"This is probably a pretty rude question but... do you love yourself?" She went rigid, turning away almost instantly, and Nick suddenly regretted asking the question. Something that he usually never felt, but the question had made Achelois tense and he hated that.

"No, I don't. I never have." The response was almost immediate, and it made him cringe. There was self-hate and venom laced in her voice; nothing that he was used to. He watched as her eyes brimmed with tears. He thought back to her past and red painted his vision.

People, shunning her because they thought she was just an ordinary human, that she was nothing special. Her twin, Aleem, that bastard, cursing her for messing up his performance when it was just a simply mistake.

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