{5:31 pm}
i overthink more than i should. i come up with reasons why he doesn't like me and pick at every little thing of what society says is wrong with me. i replay scenarios in my head and deteriorate myself for saying what i felt. "you're ugly." "why do you even try anymore?" "omg you're so stupid." "idk why anybody would like you, you're a horrible person." "you're so annoying. just stop talking." the voices in my head scream at me. and it makes me laugh, because the world tries to promote suicide awareness yet says such horrible words to the kid next to them in class. i'm so over people lying to make someone feel better or to avoid the truth. yes the truth hurts but lies hurt more. the truth feels real while lies feel like a gunshot to the heart. the stereotypes of the girls always being cheerleaders is so overrated the thought that a girl should lower herself just to get a boyfriend makes me sick and the idea that boys can't cry is honestly crap. because boys have feelings too, they love with passion and hurt like a girl does too. girls are geniuses and aren't always fragile. they can play football and be scientists. stop teaching girls that if a boy hits her that means the boy likes her because last time i checked abuse is abuse and hitting has never been tolerated. because say that is like putting a bandaid on a broken arm. the pain is there and it never goes away, you just tolerate the pain. so stop saying that boys are just boys and it's okay for a man to treat his wife with no respect. if a man hits me i will be sure to hit back 100 times harder and make him remember that a girl is a person not a punching bag. i am determined to show that girls are powerful in words, in action, in appearance. a woman can do so much and women everywhere are proving men wrong and succeeding in life while he sits in the background trying to seduce her just to pass her up and i hope that the girl succeeding life ignores him and pushes farther. i hope that our future children will be the generation to put gender roles to an end and the women will be CEOs and the men will stay at home with their kids. because this generation is crap and we need to improve ourselves not the kid beside is in our math class.
