Don't Make Me Love You

Chapter 25

It was Sunday and dispite the events of the past two days, I had stuff I needed to take care of before Brandon and I could officially tell Bobby about our relationship. Bobby was my best friend and I had technically lied to him for several weeks now so I wasn't exactly looking forward to spilling the beans on this whole dating thing, but if Brandon and I wanted to be serious, and we did, then it had to come out. Further deciet would only make things worse in the long run and we really didn't need that right now. However, that also meant I needed to terminate my temporary partnership with Jake before Brandon found out about that. I mean, I could always explain and hope he didn't hate me afterward, but I figured if he didn't know then why make things complicated. Yeah, I know, not the best way to start a relationship, but I was trying. This was kind of knew for me.

I was laying on my bed, texting Brandon, when my phone suddenly rang. The caller ID told me who it was right away and I picked up quickly. "I've been trying to call you for two hours," I said irritably. 

"Yeah, yeah. I was busy. Gimme a break," Jake grumbled from the other end of the line. He sounded like he'd been sleeping. "What do you need? Did you find something we could use against Brandon? You were supposed to tell me the next time you guys went out."

I tried not to snort out loud. There was no way I would've called him about the last date we went on. "I forgot," I said simply. Then I rolled onto my back. "Can we meet somewhere? I need to talk to you."

"We're already talking," Jake said flatly.

I rubbed my temples as a headache begged to blossom in my forehead. He really liked pushing my buttons. "This is important, Jake. It's not exactly a phone conversation."

He sighed and I could almost feel him shaking his head. "Whatever. Give me an hour and I'll meet you at the park," he said. "This better be good."

*******

The air was cold as I stomped through the fall leaves towards the park that Jake and I had agreed to meet at. In hindsight, it probably would've been a better idea to meet somewhere with indoor heating, but now that we were commited, there wasn't really any going back. I reached the park first and waited anxiously by the swing set for Jake until his hunched shoulders came into view around the corner. When he got close, I stood up. "Jake," I said, then realized how nervous I sounded. I cleared my throat. "Took you long enough."

He looked me up and down with a skeptical eye, smirking. "You look almost excited to see me," he joked without laughing. I rolled my eyes, but decided to ignore that comment. He walked over and dropped down into one of the swings, sighing deeply and rubbing his cold arms through his jacket. "So, what do you want? I was kind of enjoying my morning before you called and ruined it."

The headache was back. I crossed my arms, frowning. "We need to stop," I said.

Jake raised an eyebrow. "You make it sound like you and I are the ones going out."

It took everything in me not to punch him square in the jaw. "I meant we need to stop trying to break up Brandon and Bobby," I snapped.

His amusement vanished instantly and he glared at me. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "We have to break them up."

"They'll break up, just not from you and I tricking them," I explained. Then, when he gave me a confused frown, I ventured, "Brandon and I are... serious. We're going to tell Bobby tomorrow after school and Brandon's going to break up with him."

There was a full minute of silence as Jake stared at me dumbfounded, not knowing how to respond. Then, like a prediction come true or something, he threw his head back and laughed so hard I wouldn't have been surprised if he woke the remainer of the sleeping people in the neighborhood. "You're going out with Brandon?!" he asked, almost falling off his swing, he was laughing so hard. "After all this time of trying to mess everything up between them, you fall for the target!"

My hands clenched and I gritted my teeth. This was exactly what I knew would happen. God, he was so immature. "Is it really something to laugh over?" I asked.

He snorted through his hand and doubled over. "I don't know," he wheezed. "Are you going to fall for me next?"

I looked out at the street to try and level my head to prevent me from strangling that stupid laughter right out of him. It wasn't that funny. I took a deep breath. "I don't know why you find this so entertaining. It's exactly what you wanted, right?" I crossed my arms. "Bobby and Brandon will break up, you can ask Bobby out again, and since I'm not interested, you won't have to worry about me getting in your way anymore."

He sighed dramatically, trying to lessen his snickers, though he was still grinning up at me with that retarded look of pleased amusement on his face. "You're serious about this?" he asked. "With Brandon, of all people?"

I hesitated, frowning down at my shoes. He had a point, but he didn't know Brandon like I did. "Brandon... isn't what you think," I finally said. "Yeah, he was a jerk in the beginning and maybe he has a bad way of showing his affection, but over all his flaws, he's a good person. He cares about me, like no one else ever has, and... I care about him." 

Jake watched me for a couple second, trying to decide if he thought I was lying or not. Then he chuckled on last time and stood up. "You know, I never pegged you for the sentimental type," he said. "But man, are you a sap."

For the second time in his presence, I rolled my eyes. "I don't need your approval."

He shugged. "You don't need anyone's approval," he said, wrapping his jacket around himself tighter. "But a word of advise from someone who doesn't care?"

"What?" I asked, not sure I wanted to hear what Jake had to say.

"You claimed to be in love with one person and then switched gears even while knowing what your real goal was; who your real goal was." he said. He shrugged again. "I don't know. But maybe your morals are too loose."

He started to walk away and I just stood there. Then my anger snapped and I ran up, grabbing his collar and throwing him to the ground. "My morals?" I hissed, pinning him down by stradling his waist. "What would you know about morals? You're just a creep who decided he wanted a relationship with his own rape victim."

Jake looked a little surprised at my outburst, but I didn't let him speak. "Brandon is the first person to make me feel like I don't have to hide, he's the first person who's ever loved me the way I never thought I'd be loved," I said, my throat catching as I admitted the truth. "So you want to talk about morals? Give me a better reason for loving someone."

Jake blinked several times, but I had already said my bit and I was exhausted. I let go of his shirt and stood up, glaring down at him. Then I turned away. He tried to call me back, but I just kept walking. I didn't have to explain myself to him, and I wasn't going to. I pulled out my phone and dialed Brandon's number. I had to see him.

*******

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-Nekoco