Don't Make Me Love You

Chapter 24

My parents were finally sleeping peacefully on either side of me as we sat on the couch together. After I had finally told them I was gay my mother had spent a good hour crying until my dad had taken her to sit on the couch so we could talk it out. Once my mother and father had relaxed from their minor shock, we decided that we didn't want to part just yet and we settled down with popcorn and a movie, the three of us enjoying the warmth that we created together in our little family. My parents must have stayed up all night waiting for me because they were asleep before half the movie was over, my dad sitting up with his arms crossed and my mother curled up along the arm of the couch. Now, as the credits rolled, I sighed, tired myself. Wordlessly, I turned the TV off and stood up. After I threw a blanket over my parents, I headed up to my room to fall onto my bed.

Now I just stared up at my ceiling, too happy to sleep, but too emotionally exhausted to do anything productive. After all my years of hiding and lying, I never imagined it would feel this good to finally get all of it off my chest. It always sounded stupid to say someone was "out of the closet", but that's what I was; finally in the open to the entire world. This was the best day of my life. This was the first day of my life as myself, truly myself. I was the me I had always wanted to be and I couldn't be happier. I inhaled and exhaled deeply as if finally taking my first breath of free air. Wow... I frowned. 'Wow', but... something was missing.

I sat up and went to my closet, pulling the doors open and rummaging around for the object I had neglected. Then my hand brushed fur and I stopped, slowly pulling out the tiny turtle plushy from the amusement park. I smiled and ran my fingers over the shell. Then I stood up and went back to my bed, throwing myself onto my back with the plush tucked tightly in my arms. Now everything was perfect.

A bird chirped outside my window and I tipped my head back to look at it, smiling as I clutched the stuffed turtle plushie to my chest. Never had the setting sun outside my window looked so beautiful, shining into my room with a soft amber glow. As I watched the bird, I closed my eyes. I needed to called Bobby and tell him. He would be so happy. He'd been trying to convince me to come out for ages and now I'd finally done it. However, as I was grabbing my phone, I stopped. Bobby would be happy for me, but... No, I needed to call Brandon. He was the one who deserved to hear this first. It was all because of him. I needed to tell him first.

I dialed his number quickly and bit my lip as I waited for him to answer. It took a minute, but then the other line clicked and Brandon's voice came through. "Hello?" He sounded like he had been sleeping, but I had never missed the sound of his voice so much.

"I told them," I blurted immediately.

There was a paused before he asked, "Did everything go okay? You're alright?" The sleep was gone and he sounded worried.

I closed my eyes. "I'm fine. They're not mad at me at all." I laughed a little. "They were just happy to have me home again."

Brandon seemed to sigh subtly and his voice softened when he spoke again. "That's so great, Max. I'm really happy for you," he said. 

I smiled, happy to hear the pride in his words. I lowered my voice to emphasize my next words. "I couldn't have done it without you," I said quietly. I leaned back against the wall next to my bed, fiddling with the fluff on the plushy's back. "I really don't know what I would've done if I hadn't had you to back me up," I murmured. He was silent for a moment and I frowned, suddenly growing worried. "Are you okay? Did your parents..." I hesitated. "Did they get angry with you that you disappeared all night?"

Brandon cleared his throat as if he intended to speak, but remained silent for a few more seconds. "They... They weren't happy," he finally said. He laughed a little, but it sounded forced. "But you don't need to worry about it. I'm not going to let them get me down."