dreams for depression

dream 1

my bedside clock beeped 7:00 and i knew that i would not have anything to do for the rest of the evening, so i reached for my water bottle my mother had placed on my bedside stand and twisted the lid open, and to my surprise, it was quite easy. I placed the pill in my mouth and chugged the water down.

upon waking up, I found myself laying on a comfy white bed in a dark, lavish room, which I was taken back by.

I wasn't quite sure where I was, but I think that the large television screen with 'we hope you enjoy your stay with us from The Ritz-Carlton team!' on the home screen might have given it away

I took a deep breath and look around in mild confusion and astonishment, Mom and I were quite poor after dad had passed away and are only getting by in our cramped flat. There was no way we could have magically teleported here.

I look down at myself, not expecting to be in my stuffy pajamas- and I was correct, I was actually feeling really comfy in an oversized black hoodie with a silver illustration of a couple of boats parked at a harbor.

"This is impossible," I think out loud, breaking the silence "this is certainly a dream".

And as relaxing and restful as this bed was, I so badly wanted to explore the room, it's not everyday my dreams felt so vividly real; actually, most of the time, i totally forget what i was imagining when I awake.

so I shut my eyes and roll over to the edge of the bed, swing my legs over the side and push myself up. Not being used to standing up on my own in real life, I stumble over and fall, but with the help of a nearby wall, i was able to stabilize myself on my feet again.

I didn't even realize how overwhelmed with happiness I was until my cheeks started hurting, I wasn't that used to smiling this hard either.

I start walking around the room, investigating it bit by bit, I ran my fingers over the curtains and played with the lighting settings. I was checking out the minibar when I heard someone playing with the doorknob outside, trying to get in. I walk towards the door cautiously and held my breath as the door slowly unshut...

A male was standing at the other side of door, smiling as we made eye-contact. He looked familiar.

"Oh, hey Ronnie, such a pleasure to find you waiting here for me"

"Um...Uh... Shawn?" I stuttered

"Yeah, baby?"

"um... not baby, I'm Zoe... Remember?"

"What are you talking about" he snortles, heaving the suitcase he was carrying onto a bed.

"I'm Zoey, hmm?" I exclaim, opening my arms wide to show him.

"Of course not, you're Ron Weasley"

"...who's Ron Weasle?" I mutter, confused

Shawn giggled started unzipping his suitcase.

"you can be so cute sometimes, Ronnie"

"No" I burst "I'm Zodiax, Zodiax Beckett, your ex-bestfriend!"

he shook his head awkwardly.

...what the- OH YES I'M IN A DREAM

I facepalmed at my self and went over and hugged the singer

"I'm sorry babe" I coo, Trying my best at puppy eyes

he laughed and hugged me back. I quietly let go and walked over to the desk chair to let his finish unpacking in peace. I glanced at a mirror in front of me, the same sunkissed skin and matty black hair and ash eyes. I'm still me. And this is just a dream.

I realized that I honestly didn't mind being Ronnie. If that meant I can walk again, think again and love again, that is honestly fine by me.

"you alright Ron?"

"Yeah." I walked over to Shawn and hugged him again; on my tiptoes, I was able to rest my head on his shoulder, Although skinny little me wasn't able to wrap my arms around his whole body, I loved it.

"I missed you so much, Mendes."

he smiled

"so did I"

"Well, on a different note, how come you never came to check on Zodiax?"

" I just came from my from my tour RIGHT NOW, im not some kind of wizard"

"no before the tour"

"I was busy"

"no before that"

"magcon!"

"befo-"

he pushed me away gently and looked me straight in the eye "Let it go, Ron" I looked down af the floor "Well, I need to have a little nap now, I just came back from tour and I'm exhausted"

I felt my heart break, I knew this was just a dream, but come on, why is he avoiding anything that relates to me, does he hate me that much?

true to his word though, he started snoring quietly as soon as his head touched the pillow.

I climbed into bed too, but sat upright.

I realized you can make so many words out of Shawn Mendes, and he'll be happy to find out that wand is one of them. I was also finding it difficult to make anagrams out of his name that actually made sense-damn shes new, who is? madness when, when what? ugh.

I look down at the slumbering boy and start running my hand through short, brown hair. short, brown hair can be anagrammed to thin Harbor rows, which I realized is what's drawn on my hoodie- uh- I mean the hoodie I'm wearing.

Bored, I decided to do the thing I'm best at. I cuddled up next to Shawn on the bed and fell asleep