dreams for depression

dream 2

I find Shawn shaking me to wake me up. he was grinning like an idiot and pointed out that I fell asleep on a TABLE. I realized that, yes, actually I was in a horribly uncomfortable position on the hotel room's desk, I also realized that I'm wearing denim overalls with a warm grey sweater underneath. My hair was held back in a fishtail braid that came all the way to my belly-button. I got off the table and rubbed my head "Are we going somewhere?"

"Um, hell yeah, do you know how much I missed Tom and Geoff?! uh- and then I'll take you out on a date, promise"

I put on a pair of light-pink converse that were apparently mine. Before leaving the room though, I stopped to admire myself in the mirror, I felt so pretty. I twiddled with the pink ribbon holding my braid together. It matched my shoes.

Shawn led me to the elevator and was about to close it when a little boy came running towards us, so we kept it open, because we are polite. The boy rushed in and thanked us, before squinting at Shawn in a comic manner"

 "Hm... I feel like I know you" The kid exclaimed "eh, whatever, I probably don't"

Shawn shrugged. The radio was playing in the elevator. Sign of the Times was playing.

"Ugh, Is that Harry Styles?" the boy groaned. I nodded. "Oh my sister is ALWAYS talking about him, Harry this and Harry that, Harry's cute, Harry's not... wait, she never hes not cute before... Well whatever, you undertand what i'm trying to say, don't you? I mean Jesus... you can not have a proper conversation with without her trying to mention him in between each two sentences, I can honestly go on forever about her and her boy singer obsessions"

"Does she ever talk about... Shawn Mendes?"

Shawn elbows me in the ribs 

"Ouch!"

"Oh yes, him too, all. the. TIME." the boy rolls his eyes "oh mom, mom you'll never believe what Shawn did today, who Shawn said hi to yesterday, when Shawn used the restroom last week" he mimicked mockingly "actually, I was looking through her history the other day to see if I can find anything interesting, but everything was just Shawn Mendes fanfictions, God help her."

I look up at the poor singer and see him smiling, but not his normal smile, more of a oh-my-god-why-must-i-be-so-popular-with-crazy-people smile

"I know right, I hate it when people fangirl like that especially over that Shawn Mendes guy, honestly he's such a wuss, did you actually ever listen to any of his songs?!" I answer the boy, gesturing dramatically.

"YES, They are so cheesy, how does anyone listen to his music without having their ears bleed, all he talks about is love love love" he stuck his tongue out in disgust.

I was trying not to laugh so bad but Shawn was just nodding his head slowly, still smiling.

The elevator finally came to a stop 

"Man, Imagine how funny it would be if it turns out that you were actually the real life Shawn Mendes, I mean that would be hilarious, but I know you're not, because Shawn's a ginger" the boy snickered before leaving

"That ride took way longer than necessary " Shawn informed me

I started giggling, asking if what the kid said got to him, but he kept denying it, saying that's stupid. He thanked the security guard before heading off. 

my heart missed a beat when I stepped outside though, I took a moment to appreciate how beautiful Toronto is, the towering buildings and green parks-actually-I was able to see the CN tower from where I was. I was so bedazzled by the scenario I saw, I just stood there, jaw dropped, I haven't been outdoors for nearly 5 years and although I'm dreaming, I felt amazing. The sun was up high yet Canada was always as chilly as I'd remembered it to be.