dreams for depression

3

According to mom, I woke up smiling.

***

Ron twirled into my room "How's my favorite Zodiax?" she said in a sing-song manner 

"Well, you're happier than normal,you used my full name! whats up?" I asked

"So are you, whats up?" she smirked

I shrugged. I also listened to the ginger talk for exactly fifty-nine minutes about various stuff i did not understand. but she didn't mention Shawn which kind of make me happy. 

I feel so mean do saying that, but you see, i'm not a jealous brat who wants to desperately screw someone's boyfriend, although, I used to crush on him badly back at first grade- and still kind of do (my dreams isn't making this any easier ) I'm super happy that these two are together and stuff, I honestly am...

 ...I just don't know how I feel about not bieng able to, you know, do anything about my situation- Ronnie has lots of gifts, the gift of beauty, the gift of health, the gift of voice, the gift of bieng likeable, the gift of love and much much more.

can she at least give me Shawn.

Nope, nope I'm bieng selfish again. I'm so sorry.

"so how's this Nivea babysitter of yours" Ron glibbed

"oh, um doctor Nevein? yeah she's cool, not my babysitter , just my nurse"

"I can still do a better job than her anytime, right?" 

"...right?"

and oh, speak of the devil, guess who came for a quick visit that afternoon?

I decided to take a closer look at her today, to see if there is something particularly exceptional about her, something that explains how she does her magic.

Straight, shoulder length hair, a rich black colour, she had narrow eyes that closed when she smiled, although she had one that was too small for her round face, but nevertheless so pretty

I noticed she had a little bit of an accent too, Asian perhaps, but nothing that REALLY stands out

"um, Nina" I whispered so that I don't interrupt her rudley

"yes, bird?"

"um, how am I able to lucid my dreams so easily when I take your pills, and how do I remember them when I wake up? that's never happened to me in my past few years, and how are they all so positive I always get plenty of nightmares? and why am I Ronnie? I mean, what do you put in your pills?"

Nina laughed

"I don't know," she grinned "but did you know, a few years back, I invented a machine with a special code that was able to hack into a human's brain and mess with what they see when they close their eyes, but the government rejected it, saying it was too dangerous, and could increase the possibility of the user getting brain cancer" she informed me, beaming, as if it was a happy thing to remember

I thought for a few minutes in silence

"well, did you know that Doctor Nevein can be anagrammed to code inventor?"

She gasped and hugged me. she smelled like coconut

It was a pretty normal checkup and at the end of it the young woman asked me if i could walk a few steps without my crutches, it was an obvious n-o but I tried for her anyways

I tripped and fell as soon as i got off my bed but she begged me to try harder

I did. I walked 1 step, 2 steps till i stumbled and hit the floor.

Nina shook her head sadly and trudged out of the room, leaving me to get up all by myself.