The Kingdom Thief

Chapter 33

I silently curse the soft light that begins to stream through the open window, illuminating the beautiful man in front of me in a warm glow.

All at once it becomes hard to breathe. Even though it makes the panic worse, I stare back at those warm green eyes that look upon my face without a hint of fear for the day ahead of us.

I thought the feeling would eventually wash away. I thought the longer I spent around Kane, the less it would destroy me when I eventually had to let him walk through the doors of the castle.

But I couldn't have been more wrong. The idea terrorizes me more than it ever has before and I feel a physical pain when I think about what has to be done.

I've had three weeks of planning and training to get used to the idea but it hasn't helped the fear or the pain of knowing that when the fighting breaks out, I won't be right beside him, protecting his blind side while he protects mine.

It takes me an eternity to finally think of something to say.

"I wish I could just tie you to this bed and come back after all the fighting is done" I murmur, exhaustion turning my voice hoarse despite the fact that I don't feel at all tired. I should though.

Kane and I didn't get any sleep last night. Instead, the moment Foster excused us from the final battle prep meeting, I had grabbed Kane by the shirt and dragged him all the way to our house.

After then his shirt was not needed and neither was mine. They still lay hastily strewn across the floor along with every other article of clothing we had on.

I spent the whole night memorizing every part of Kane. Every touch of his skin, every noise he made, where I had to bite and nibble to drive him over the edge, what words I had to say to him to make him forget about anything other than me.

He did the same to me, finding new places to nibble that made me arch my back, releasing practically animalistic sounds from me, burying himself so deep inside me that I still feel the emptiness of him no longer being there.

Kane lowers his head so that the soft messy curls in his hair formed by sweat brush across my forehead.

"Not a chance in hell" he softly insists. "We're finishing this. Together. Nothing you can say will make me abandon my mission and responsibility."

I raise a hand to cup his cheek. "I know" I admit sadly. "But I can still try. Try to make you understand that if I have to live in a world without you for even a moment-"

"You will either destroy everything in sight or destroy yourself out of guilt and grief" he finishes for me. "I know Bridget. I know because my mind is screaming the exact same things to me. I've tried imagining my world without you in it and it's too unbearable to think of for too long.

"But we can't let those voices win. We can't let that doubt stop us from doing whatever we can to save the thousands of people who are also fearing for their loved ones lives' under Jack's rule. We have to finish this. We have no room to be selfish or to feel a claim to anything in this world."

"I feel a claim to you" I manage to say through choked back tears. "You're mine, in every possible literal and metaphorical sense. I love you and I claim you as mine."

Kane squeezes his eyes shut as I watch him struggle to keep his composure. When he opens his eyes they are soft once again. He leans forward and pushes his lips against my own.

I memorize every part of how it feels to have his lips graze mine and by the time he pulls away, I have the feeling locked tight in my brain, refusing to allow myself to forget how it felt.