Half A Heart

Prologue

Dear Ally

I find myself thinking about you everyday. I wonder how you're doing, I wonder if I should visit you, I wonder how things could've ended up in a different lifetime. But we're stuck in this century. But I need you to know this; I wouldn't take back a single second I spent with you. All I can do is hope that after all these years, you can finally say the same thing about me...

I will always love you,

Harry

____________________________________________________________

Dear Ally

I need to know you're ok. I need a phone call, a text message, a letter. I'm suffocating here in my lonely world. I need your company, your kiss, your love. I can't get past this place of despair. I want to feel okay again. I know you can never trust me again, but I can't live without you. I know you will never forgive me, but I love you. I know you will never smile the way you used to, but I will do everything I can, to make you feel ok again. Please...

I will always love you,

Harry

____________________________________________________________

Dear Ally,

I've decided to let go. I can't live like this any longer, knowing the pain I have caused you. I need you to know that no matter what happened, no matter how it happened, I never stopped loving you, and never will. And instead of saying I'm sorry again, or saying goodbye, I'm just going to say "see you later". Because I promised you once, I would never say goodbye to you...

I love you.

-H

____________________________________________________________

These letters bring back so many memories, and guilt. The guilt of never replying to one single letter, but the happiness of him still sending them. The guilt of not ripping them to pieces, but instead keeping them, and wishing it was him who held me every night, not another man. But I keep them because I love him. I never thought I would be up here, in this dusty attic, crying over the boy who broke my heart into a million pieces. But he was my first love. And I was his last.

Now he's dead.