Half A Heart

University Bound

20 Years Earlier

This is where the real story begins...

Keep your eyes on the road Allyson. Eyes on the road.

I can't stand driving. Driving to school everyday, driving to the grocery store, driving to the hospital. Maybe the reason is I drive too much. In this past year, I've driven three times as much as a typical 18 year old girl. It doesn't help that most of it was to and from the hospital.

My mother is a Cancer patient. She has been fighting breast cancer for 6 years. After my dad and older sister died in a car crash last year, I was left to care for my mother. It isn't too bad, unless you think about how "normal" girls my age have their parents taking care of them.

Since my mother hasn't been able to work, I have kept a 4.0 average in school, praying for a scholarship. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to go to university for a few years at the least. That just won't do. I'm itching to get out of this small town, that has me, and so many bad memories trapped.

I've never had friends for starters. Everyone stayed away from me in fear of catching what my mother has-real mature. When I was a child-before my mom got diagnosed- I had a bestfriend named Olivia. A year after we became friends, she got really sick, and died. That's one of my problems with making friends. I've lost so many important people to me in my life, I shut everyone out in fear of losing them too.

After my older sister Ava, and my father died last summer, I hit my breaking point. I tried to escape my life in so many ways, but I'm trapped. Sometimes I wish I could change who I am, and leave this dreaded town forever.

But for now, I can't. But I may just get my wish someday...

"Allyson!" I lift my head to see my mother beside me.

"Sweetheart, you need to pay attention to the road." I realize then, I am behind the wheel, driving to the hospital.

She's right, I do need to pay attention. I can't put our lives in danger, because I'm sleep deprived. But it's true, I haven't slept in days. All my time is spent worrying. Worrying about my mother, worrying about my grades, worrying about everything.

"Sorry mom. I'm just tired." I lamely say. I see that her eyes are watery, as though she is about to cry.

"It's ok. I know how hard you try." Does she?

I love my mother, but she spends so much time in bed, that she barely knows me. She hasn't known me for 6 years.

That's why it won't be hard for me to leave. I won't need to say goodbye, or turn back. She won't even know I'm gone.

As we stop at the hospital, I hold up my special parking pass to the machine. If I didn't have one, we would be hours trying to find an open space. The meter lifts and I go park. After I drop my mother off in the Cancer ward, I go to Wal-Mart for some groceries.

That's another thing; I have to provide for myself. It's hard most of the time. I work 2 jobs, and barely have enough to get by.

I don't really know what I'll do when I'm at university next year- that is if I get a scholarship. With a busy university student schedule, I won't have time to work 2 jobs, let alone 1.

I decide to put that thought away for later as I pull into my driveway. After picking up the mail, I park my car, and unlock the door before disabling the alarm.

Since we don't have much, I'm very careful with the safety of our belongings, by setting an alarm daily, incase any burglars decide to stop by.

After I unload the groceries, I sit down at the counter to have a quick snack. But before I can I see an official looking letter from the University of New York. This letter will determine my future.

I should wait for my mom, and open it in front of her. But I can't seem to stop my trembling fingers from tearing the top of the envelope.

New York City is a huge step for me. I've never heard of anyone making in out of Morrison County. It's known as the loser town of Colorado.

All I've ever wanted to do is prove my teachers, the students in my school, and my own mother wrong, by showing them someone can leave. And that someone will be me.

As I remove the letter from its envelope, I feel freedom at my fingertips. This is it for me. All I have left.

And then I see it.