excerpts from a book i'll never write

windows

i look out the window expecting to see you but you're not there. you're not looking for me in the crowd. you're not seeing me in first glances. you're not seeing me.

i see you but i don't want to. you're there, standing, talking. you're not standing next to me, talking to me. you're standing next to everybody else, talking to everybody.

i thought i loved you but it was all a lie. your i love you 's, your i want you to be okay 's. you lied and told me about things we would do together. you lied and you were okay with it. why did i let you build me up just so you could break me down?

-an excerpt from a book i'll never write