excerpts from a book i'll never write

maybe you're better off

i've tried and tried. i've tried to forget you, to be angry at you, to hate you, to hate you're very existence. i have been trying to get you off of my mind and out of my head but you're so goddamn stubborn. you won't leave no matter how much i beg. and for some reason, you decide to stay around and torture me like it's some fucking game. you play games in my head.

and the funny thing is that i know you hate me, i know you could care less about me. i know how much you want me dead. i know how you really feel about me and it took me up until now to realize that you never loved me. i was an excuse for you. i was your excuse to feel better.

-an excerpt from a book i'll never write