I keep walking down the hallways and I always see couples holding hands, kissing, hugging.
It makes me want to do something but I choose not to because I don't want to be rude and feel guilty about it later on.
Honestly my heart pumps when I see her and I end up saying things the wrong way and I get nervous.
It's hard to let go, I've tried but again I can't.
I just love her too much to let her go.
Sure I don't talk to her but..
It's hard... really hard.
My heart always pumps, really fast and again... I say the wrong things.
When I have trouble saying things or if I'm near her, I usually just pull out my phone and scroll through it until she or I go our separate ways, or I just talk to Maria, who I can count on when I have no one else to turn too.
Sure I got a feeling she feels annoyed when I text her but when I need something and if no one can help me then I turn to her for help.
I just don't know who to turn to if I haven't met Maria.
Like today...
I was messing with my friend Gavin and his girlfriend..
I saw her and she was alone, I wanted to do something but.. it would be awkward so I just left, leaving my friends behind, walking fast, putting on my earphones and turning up the volume to the music.
I just think too much..
It's going to be a hard school year... this year.
