Once Darling Once.

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Once

I had a guy

I loved him

Writing this makes me smile

As tears still stream down my pale face, I move my caramel strand of thin hair behind my ear

Do you remember those things about me?

The tears

Evan; the guy

My pale face

My smile

My caramel hair

Once

Evan,

The guy.

He was mine

He was a great boyfriend

My first everything. My first kiss, my "first", my first boyfriend

I lost him to my cuts & scars

To my depression and insecurities

Who does that?

Who just doesn't stop being depressed for someone they love? ,

You ask.

Me.

I couldn't.

Evan, when/if you read this,

I hope you know I tried.

But I just couldn't.

Once

I was alive

And still no one cared

I tried to do what you did

I bought outfits like other girls when I saved up money

I'm sorry that you saw me as a weird person with a blade at her skin a lot

I know you were freaked out by my scars

But it helped

I would've been in a lot more pain if I didn't cut.

Darlings,

I know I won't be remembered

I know you still will hate me when I'm dead;

When you read this.

A/n

Writing this made me cry. Happy Easter

-xx me

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