March of the False-heteros (Falsettos)

VII. Whoever Gave Mendel His Degree Needs to be Fired

(Video is from @ HA HA on YouTube)

VII.

Jason

Hearing that Doctor Mendel was actually coming to our house surprised me. It shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. The doorbell rings, making me jump, and my mother rushes into the kitchen, pulling some sort of chicken dish out of the oven and I roll my eyes, abandoning my chess game.

Why had Whizzer agreed to let me see a psychiatrist? It seemed like a waste of time and I really could be doing homework or reading or playing chess. I could could be doing something progressive instead of seeing a shrink that my father and mother were seeing. The same one my father said didn't help him much. The thought occurs to me that maybe there is a family discount, and I laugh the thought away, going to the door.

I open the door and Mendel walks in, smiling at me. He's wearing a really ugly blue patchwork sweater and he seems to happy to be real.

"Mr. Mendel," I fake a smile up at him. "Thank you for traveling to our house. My mother seems to think I'm neurotic and that I have a need for a psychiatrist," I add, rolling my eyes as I finish the sentence. "Shall we eat some food? My mom made something." As if on cue, my mother rushes in with food, fresh out of the oven and puts it on the table, taking off her oven mitts.

"Thank you," Mendel smiles at my mother, kindly. "I don't really eat in times like these," he adds, politely. He reaches out his hand, and my mother takes it, kindly. Unseen to my mother, Mendel swoons. I gag.

"It's a version of Chicken Marengo," my mother tells him, kindly. I can see Mendel's eyebrows raise in interest. We all sit down at the romantic table, pretending that nothing is wrong and that we are all mentally stable and healthy. Which is really not true at all.

My mother and Mendel get to talking and I just focus on finishing my food. That's a thing I do- I finish quickly and while my parents are distracted, slip from the table and go to my room. And voila I'm free from doing any of the clean-up or speaking to either of them. It works like a charm every time.

Finally after everyone is finished, I don't really have a good time to slip away which is very disappointing. But I realize I'll just have to deal with Mendel. It's only going to be an hour long session and that would be fine. I could deal with this complete stranger for an hour. God, what were my parents thinking... What was I thinking when I agreed to this?

Finally, my mother leaves us alone together and brings all the dishes into the kitchen. I know she's going to be listening very closely to this conversation so I roll my eyes and do every thing hopefully how I am supposed to.

"Mr. Mendel," I prompt him, my voice serious. "I get apoplexy thinking of my father." Mendel looks surprised at such a big word coming from me, but I continue anyway. "I resemble him in far too many ways," I shrug, helplessly. "With his sad demeanor and the way he acts like shit," I roll my eyes, looking to Mendel pointedly. Mendel just stares back at me, a hint of a smile on his face. "At least his room is cleaner than mine," I add in a small joke to lighten the mood, slightly.

"Is it fatal?" I ask, biting my lip, softly. I was of course talking about homosexuality. Would I get it too? Was it contagious? "My father and Whizzer live like... I think it's clear," I can feel a blush start to creep up my cheeks because I'm still not one hundred percent comfortable talking about this subject- why would I be?

What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do? How do I act? What do I hope for? How do I ask for help?

"Well, Jason," I look up to him, in hopes he can help me. He needs to be able to fix whatever the hell is wrong with me and he needs to help me soon. I realize his eyes have been flickering from me to the doorway- the doorway that my mother is standing behind. "Here's my philosophy- if you feel alright for about five minutes, you can still feel alright for ten minutes. And if you feel alright for ten minutes, you can still feel alright for forty minutes and the cycle keeps going and going, do you understand?" He asks me, smiling. "Just keep thinking that way and everything will be alright! Just drop everything that's wrong with your life and smile!"

I am mortified. Is this how he "treats" my father and mother too? Is this therapy?

"Just feel alright for the rest of your life, alright?" He grins, patting my back.

What. The. Fuck.

And my session is over, sooner than I expected as Mendel stands up to go join my mother in the kitchen. And finally, I am able to go sneak back into my room and avoid any other conversations.

This isn't going to end well, I can tell, already.

(THIS IS SO SHORT IM SORRY. I HAD NO MOTIVATION AT ALL AND I WROTE THE LAST SIX HUNDRED WORDS AT LIKE 3 AM IM REALLY SORRY)