**This chapter contains triggering content, read at your own risk**
~~
After Jungkook calmed down a bit, he removed his face from Taehyung's shoulder, uttering countless apologies for the tear soaked hospital gown that was now clinging to his skin.
"Jungkookie, it's fine. I promise, don't worry." he hushed the younger, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder before sitting down on the couch that wasn't too far from where they were standing. Jungkook followed, sitting down beside the older, though he avoided direct eye contact with him. Awkward silence filled the air, it was thick and almost choking until the maknae finally spoke. "Hyung, can I ask you something?.."
Tae tilted his head slightly, peering curiously into the younger's beautiful dark chocolate eyes before he answered. "Of course." he nodded, awaiting the question.
"Why are you in a hospital gown?"
Everything got quiet. Tae averted his gaze, looking down at his hands that were now clasped together in his lap. 'Should I tell him? Is it worth it?' His thoughts were racing through his mind, making him slightly dizzy. He swallowed hard again, his mouth somewhat dry. "Jungkook-ah..."
The younger blinked slowly, tilting his head at his hyung. He could see the nervous glint in the male's eyes, which made him shiver slightly. Taehyung's lips parted again to speak, but no sound came out. Not a peep. He pursed his lips, lifting his gaze from his hands and resting it anywhere but on Jungkook. The words were on the tip of his tongue, yet they refused to spill. The brown haired boy placed his hand over the older's, giving it a light squeeze. "You can tell me, hyung.." He reassured him, his soft gaze fixed on the sharply featured side profile of the older male.
Taehyung sighed deeply, glancing over to Jungkook momentarily before moving his gaze to the maknae's hand which was on his own. He swallowed again, his mouth parting enough to allow his tongue to swipe over his chapped lips before he finally spoke. "When you left-.." he started, rubbing his hands together slightly, though Jungkook kept his hand on Taehyung's for comfort. He needed to make his hyung feel better. He was worried about him, this wasn't a normal state for the older male. He was always the cheerful, childish one of their friend group. Seeing him this gloomy was rare, and seeing him in a hospital gown was worrying him even more. He needed answers.
"Things weren't the same, after you left us. No one was the same, me especially." he admitted, his lips in a drooping frown as he continued. "I thought I would be okay. I lied to myself. Nothing was okay. I- I started-" he paused, biting his lip as he tried to think of how to word it. Under the hospital gown, he wore a white, long sleeve shirt. At a loss for how to explain, he pulled the sleeve up on the arm closest to Jungkook and turned his arm wrist-up. The younger could feel the tears forming in his gaze onto the older's arm. Cuts, scars, scabs. Small, straight lines on his soft skin. Taehyung hung his head in shame, pulling the sleeve down quickly and wrapping his arms tightly around himself. A sharp pang in his chest caused the tears to roll down the younger's cheeks. The salty liquid left small droplets on his shirt as he sniffled, staring at the older who refused to look at him. Tae's eyes were stinging as well, tears beginning to well up and trickle down as he remembered doing that to himself. Remembering the pain he inflicted on himself. He couldn't handle it anymore.
"H-hyung..." whispered through choked sobs. "Why.."
Taehyung hugged himself more tightly, gripping the sides of the gown so his nails wouldn't dig into his palms. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Everything was aching. Those weren't his only scars, but he didn't want to expose himself and his mistakes more than he already had. He was embarrassed, and ashamed. He knew what he did was wrong, but he wanted to feel pain that wasn't from his heart.
The others tried to help him before, but he refused help. He locked himself in his room for days on end, not eating, barely sleeping. He stayed in the dark, stuffy bedroom until the others forced him out, breaking the lock in the process. They found a broken, disheveled boy curled up in the corner of his room. He was weak, frail and injured. The messy scraps on his arms were still somewhat fresh, and they all rushed to help him.
He was too weak to stand, too weak to do anything on his own. Each and every person in their group of friends nursed him back to health. But he wasn't the same. He was cold, bitter, and harsh. Taehyung was beginning to snap at everyone, and he refused to smile. At times, also refusing to spend time in the same room as the others. Seokjin forced him to share a room with him, in hopes of keeping a closer eye on the younger. But after a while, something else happened. Something worse. Tae was falling back into the black hole of depression. He stopped speaking. He would refuse to move, refuse to eat, refuse to drink.
After being lost in his thoughts, he was brought back to reality by Jungkook wrapping his arms tightly around him from behind, burying his face into the older's neck. His cheeks were still wet from the tears. Tae stiffened, his sobbing turning into sniffling as he leaned his head back against Jungkook's. He wasn't ready to tell him the rest, not yet. He was already hurting enough, and he didn't want to scar the last cheerful memories the maknae may have still had for him.
"Mianhae, Taehyung.. mianhae." he whispered into his neck, causing the the older's hair to stand on end and a shiver to run down his spine. Taehyung carefully removed his clenched fists from his gown and placed them gently over the younger's hands. "Yongseohae.." the older whispered in reply, the tears still streaming down his cheeks, though he was comforted by other's warmth against his back.
A/N:
hEHheh I'm sorry if I triggered anyone ;3; there will be more chapters along the lines of this one, with similar content as more of Tae's incidents are explained. Consider yourself warned.
Annyeonghaseyo~
