Brendon could feel his sadness filling up his throat. The redness taking over his eyes. He had been taught his whole life that crying was not very manly. Therefore he should not do it. Just like he had been taught how it was wrong to be gay. That it was a disgrace. that's part of the reason why he hid it.
" No, I never thought that! " Brendon assured Ryan.
Though that was a lie. Of course he had thought that. What else was he suppose to think other than that he was hated by Ryan? He never contacted him. He abandoned him in Capetown. Still, he was not a bad person. Not at all. Brendon really just wanted to know what, that was all.
" Truth is Bren, I was madly in love with you. "
OoKaAy!
Brendon's head was SPINNING. He was having an anxiety attack.
" Ryan call-"
He passed out before he could finish. His body fell, surprisingly gracefully , Ryan found, to the ground.
People stared. Of course. Thought they thought it no more than what is normal at parties like this. Sometimes people have too much fun and don't control themselves. People nodded at Ryan, making sure Brendon was okay. Ryan gave them thumbs ups. Assuring them that all was well.
Bren looked so peaceful laying there, his resting face was so beautifu-
What was he thinking?
He needed to get Brendon somewhere quiet and private so he could rest without being disturbed and looked at. He jogged his memory to remember that this was the best thing to do. He was with Brendon a lot in highschool. Helping him to the nurse. Feeling lonely walking back to class without him. Wondering about him all day. Trusting the nurse to care for his boyfriend. He never said it out loud. But he always said the word in his head back them. He loved the way it sounded. All warm and official.
A small crowd was forming, but he kept telling everyone that he was fine. The D.J. shrugged at the people gathering. He saw Ryan taking care of it and told them that it was okay.
Finally
Ryan thought.
He hated being looked at.
But he didn't mind helping Brendon.
YOU ARE READING
A decade after. ( Ryden )
FanfictionRyan and Brendon meet again after a decade at a Halloween party and Brendon has a panic attack and passes out. Ryan takes care of him and this is when they realize that they never fell out of love in Cape Town. They've always been in love.
