Stranger Things

Relic

'So what is it?'

'That's the problem, we don't know.' Professor Dawlish scratched his head in the manner of one not used to being confounded. 'It's been with Schild-Voss in archaeology, Shedden in antiquities, Malt in metallurgy and Wandle in anthropology. We've all drawn a blank.'

Parablaine studied the looks on the expectant faces of the eminent men crowded into his room. 'Well you must know something about it.'

'Oh yes, indeed – we recovered it at our dig earlier this year.' Schild-Voss nodded.

'At Ur?'

'Yes, you know the city in ancient Mesopotamia, we recovered it from under the ziggurat there. The university archaeological team have been going there for the last ten years under my guidance.'

'I know they have, to the old Sumerian city. Just because I study mathematics I'm not a complete ignoramus in everything else.'

'Yes of course. Sorry, Parablaine, but what do you think?'

Parablaine turned the object over in his hand. It filled his palm, a silvered device of a curious metallic construction, its unnatural weight suggested it was hollow. He ran his fingers over its surface, the shell like design had a bizarre series of patterns cut in its surface. 'Surely it's just a fossil that's somehow been coated and etched. It's a beautiful thing, remarkable in fact. Ornament, trophy, curiosity, tribute ...who knows?'

'No Parablaine,' Schild-Voss spoke with the authority of a man who knew his subject, 'it's more than that. It was found in a silver lined box under the ziggurat in a king's tomb of which we're dating at about 4,500 BC. We've not been able to discern its function, its metallurgical structure or the meaning of the inscriptions on it. The whole thing it totally alien to us. A damnable mystery.'

'Truly a UFO,' added Shedden, his face appearing oddly angelic in the frosty light that filtered into the room.

'UFO?' Queried Parablaine bemused.

'Unidentified Found Object,' chuckled Shedden.

'Oh, give over Shedden,' Malt threw him a look of reproach.

Parablaine turned it over in his hand a few times. 'Look, it's just not my field. Have you tried Mayers in Palaeontology?'

'Clueless.'

'Life Sciences. Liccey will know, he knows everything, he's constantly telling everyone that.'

'Looked at it once and returned it straight away saying he wasn't falling for a practical joke. He said the writing looked like elfish to him.'

'Well he would know, wouldn't he?' said Parablaine with a wry grin. 'Mind you think of Piltdown Man, are you sure someone's not pulling your leg.'

'It's not a joke, Parablaine or a plant,' said Malt frostily.

'Shrewsbury and Fiennes then?'

'Both too interested in competing with each other in dalliances with their young research assistants. Young professors can be so tiring, the Dean really should intervene.'

Parablaine sighed, he did not wish to disappoint the Heads of the other colleges but... 'Look, I've got my work here,' he passed the object back to Malt and tapped his folio with his finger, 'I'm in the thick of it.'

'Oh come on, Parablaine you've been in the thick of your proof for the last five years. Have you completed it?'

'Well no, I'm ....' Parablaine looked dismayed and scratched his stubbled chin distractedly.