As being who I am I've been through a lot in my life, so many dangers so much hardship. Being a Christian it's not easy. He said we would suffer in the same ways that he would. That we would get persecuted. And I know that more than most people. Living the life as the chosen one. The one called by him to do the extraordinary the impossible made possible by him. My creator.It's not easy all the time doing the good things. In fact it's the hardest most difficult thing ever just to do what's right. The world will always be against you. Things will always get in the way and along the way you find that it becomes harder and harder to fight. Harder and harder to keep going. Life seems to prick you right in the spot you're most vulnerable in. It's easy to do what's wrong. It's easy to give up. But that's why we have to keep fighting. Every single day every single second. And we can never give up.
For the longest time I've been chasing a life I thought was impossible. In one of the hardest moments in my life I was healed and all my prayers were answered. God will not abandon you. As he has not me. For years and years I was alone. I saw people die. I lost my mother who was my whole world. I lost my friends who turned out to be the ones that weren't right for me. They were toxic and I needed to get away from them. God knew this and he got me out of there. For years I got no answer. That's how it usually is. But I promise you in the quiet moments when nothing seems to be happening and you're in your darkest days that's when God is right there with you. Holding your hand guiding you along as well as ensuring you a beautiful future.
Life on earth is where I'm happy. It's my new home. But it's not my only one. Gallifrey is too. Being here. I've learned a lot. Being human. It's not disgraceful or low. It's beautiful. It's complex. It's worth it. And I wouldn't be anything other than that. It's taught me to be humble. And pride on Gallifrey was my weakness. It made me become a jerk to most people, it's hidden me from how I could be healed. I'm on earth for a reason and it's part of God's infinite extraordinary plan for me. I'm right where he wants me to be, always has been as he is to all of you out there. God knows what he's doing and he cares for his children.
That empty heart aching feeling you get when you're broken with sadness that's only a hole the lord can fill. You won't get it anywhere else. And trust me it's everything you ever needed and more.
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For years I knew of a war coming. In the days that I didn't even know who I was. I wasn't at my full potential or where I was meant to be yet. The future it's a terrifying thing. But sometimes it's always meant to be. My mom she's in heaven now. Taken out of the fight. Getting to rest. And someday I will get mine too. For now I need to keep fighting. I have exciting things waiting for me. We all do. For me it's my journey with the lord and fighting this final battle to end evil. To save those I love and to save many others. I'll get back who I'm meant to be and I will never forget the lessons I learned here. The time is approaching fast when I will go back to being my full potential.
The future is frightening, but it's also where I will always be heading and God won't abandon me or my team. He will be as he has always done. Been right there with us every step of the way. It's taken me a long time to realize that and I forget it a lot of times. Like any other person when they're broken and sad. But it's good to have a friend to remind me. The lord is that reminder and wow does he really know how to heal. My hearts have been broken a long time now. I've lived a long life and fought the worst circumstances and enemies you could imagine.
I've seen my friends and many others get killed or almost killed by them.. even innocent Babies. I don't know that there's a way to ever forget the pain and the loss. But over time, we move on. We find healing for everything we need. Once I lost all my friends I never thought I would find new friends. More less ones that knew about all this and would fight along side me in this endless fight against evil. Right when I most needed I found them. God was preparing us to meet for a long time. He knew it would heal me. It was what I kept praying, And he's right I could never expect my hearts to heal again. But , friendship, true love, There's nothing more powerful in the universe. Nothing can break it.
True love our friendship, is more than friendship. We're more than soldiers or a team we're a family. Whatever we go through we go through it together and I know that they will be there for me through it all as I have them. God gave me this gift. Exactly what I needed at the right time. He can do anything so amazing things. With him guiding me letting me do these amazing things that I could of never done on my own. He allowed me to heal my new friends depression. Something I wasn't even aware of doing. He works through others, I've learned to have faith in him because even when everything seems lost there is always hope. He is my hope, and he definitely follows through every single time.
I wouldn't of found my true potential here without the lord. It's been a long hard journey and I know I still have a long way to go. The horrible times, the good times. God will be there with me. Along with my team. My friends that will never leave my side. We fight together. God showed me this extraordinary path he's shown me where my true potential is. Out there doing amazing things. It's who I am. I'm gonna save the universe. Something I could've never imagined doing.
Fear consumed me for a long time. Fear and sadness and brokenness. But it is just part of the journey after all you can't create a rainbow without rain. Everyone has their own journeys some may not be as extraordinary but in their own way, in Gods plan it's all amazing, especially the more humble it is. I am a servant to the universe I take the worst terrors and trials so others won't have to face what we've gone through. I protect and lead other by being a servant. A servant leader. Just like Jesus was. I follow his example. Although I'm not perfect. I make many mistakes but mistakes are also part of the journey, because you learn from them. And you grow, you gain wisdom from them and you start seeing the light out of the tunnel.
I will still continue on my journey it's who I am and it's God's plan for me. Those that wish to bring me down or try to stop me they won't. I am not powerful in myself but in God's hands I can do anything. He leads me.
This is my journey, this is my Secret Stand.
YOU ARE READING
The diary of a timelord
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