I fumbled the edges of the list. I traced the corners, the numbers, all one hundred of them. She thought I only had just a few, maybe seven maximum, but little did she know she was worth so much more.
I quickly texted her to call me. She needed to hear my voice as I stated her purposes. I wanted her to know that I truly meant these, and didn't just type them up and press send. The phone rang after three minutes. I took in a deep breath and slid the icon to answer.
"Hey. Don't speak. Just hear me out. Don't say anything till I am done. Okay?"
Silence.
"Okay, here I go," I looked down at the paper and began.
"1. We would miss you. I wouldn't be able to stop crying.
2. In the end, it will just be regret. It isn't worth that. You'll regret it and not be able to change your decision. It will be too late.
3. It does get better. Believe it or not, it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to see the sun behind the clouds.
4. You will never wear the beautiful wedding dresses that you saved on Pinterest.
5. You will never get to create that non-profit medical organization you've been designing.
6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.
7. You ARE worth it. Don't let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.
8. You are amazing. Truly. I've never met anyone who has gone through so much and still smiled at the end.
9. You will emerge stronger from this, and you won't regret your decision to breathe another day.
10. You won't be able to listen to music if you die and I know how much you love music.
11. You won't be able to travel to see the world if you're dead.
12. You'll never get to see your pets anymore.
13. Killing yourself is never worth it. Whatever method it is, the second you do it, you'll wish you didn't.
14. What about all the other brilliant stories waiting to be written? Who would write them?
15. You'll never get to see your cute genetics be passed on.
16. You've helped so many people; this will just crush them.
17. You're gorgeous, intelligent, and to someone, you are the ultimate definition of perfect.
18. Think about your favorite author, you'll never read their works again.
19. What about all the funny jokes you consistently make? Where will they go?
20. You'll never have the feeling of walking in the soft wind as the sun smiles at you.
21. You will not be able to take mesmerizing photos.
22. You won't be able to create beautiful travel videos.
23. Finding your soulmate. Why cut out a piece of them and take it with you? It will just fade into the soil.
24. Puppies. Enough said.
I heard a chuckle from the other side of the line. A smile pursed itself onto my lips. I hadn't heard her laugh in such a long time.
25. Going to see the sunrise at six in the morning.
26. Really soft blankets and pillows and jackets.
27. Watching a movie while it rains in the background.
28. Proving people wrong with how stunning of a person you are.
29. Watching the same people who constantly hurt you fail at their life because karma is a bi
"Shh, don't swear."
"Hey, I said no talking."
30. Seeing reunion videos on Youtube and crying. Or pregnancy announcements. I know you want to do one in the future, so why throw that away?
31. Being able to help other people. The smile they have on their faces. The light bulb effect. The warm, tingling feeling of helping someone.
32. Sunsets and bonfires and marshmallows.
33. Being at the top of a hill to see everything.
34. Seeing people of different cultures and parts of the world. Add stamps to your passport.
35. Going on spontaneous road trips with friends.
36. Riding a horse through a field of flowers.
37. Going to a music concert.
38. You might, possibly, hopefully, win like the billions of dollars from a lottery and then share that money with me.
39. Going to the movie theater and buying expensive popcorn.
40. Jumping on a trampoline.
41. Watching documentaries.
42. Looking at old photos from your childhood and getting those nostalgic feels.
43. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yep.
44. Hello, Game of Thrones has one more season left.
45. Being able to buy your first dream car.
46. Hey, maybe in thirty years, we can all just take an elevator to the moon.
47. Randomly running into your old crush on the street and wowing them with your fabulous hair.
48. Dancing underneath tiny lamps on the street.
49. That stomach holding, mouth covering laugh, that you just can't control because it was so funny.
50. Smiling at your phone because of something adorable that got shared."
I took a sip of water. "That was fifty, and we're not even close to being done, love."
YOU ARE READING
therapy
Short Story"they told us that we needed therapy, as if medication and tainted words could fix broken toys."
