Our Mistake (Laurmani)(COMPLETED)

Moving Forward

Normani's P.O.V

Well I fucked up. I pushed and I pushed and now that she's actually over me, I want her back. In a way I've always wanted her back I just couldn't get over the past. Fuck the past. Living in the past screwed up my present and future. God how could I have been so fucking stupid?! I don't deserve her. She deserves to be with someone who's smart enough to recognize she's a catch. I'm the only idiot who would let her slip through my fingers. As slow as I've been to forgive her, she's already forgiven me for what I've done. She's a better person than I am.

I deserve to be alone. I did this to myself and now there's no fixing it. Lauren has tried to call me but I don't answer. I don't understand why she's calling. If she's calling to apologize, she has nothing to apologize for. She did nothing wrong. I'm the only person who messed up. I don't want to talk to her because I'm embarrassed of the way I reacted. I couldn't be like a normal person and just walk away. Of course not, I run away crying like I just caught her cheating on me. I know she wasn't in the wrong but it hurt. God it hurt even more this time than the last. I'm not angry she slept with Ashley though. Just...sad.

I've completely isolated myself for the last few days. Lauren came once but I ignored her and she finally left. Yes, that wasn't very adult of me to do but whatever. I need some time to myself to cope with losing her. But she said she still loved me. I know that couldn't have just changed that fast. Or maybe it did. She probably just got over it and said fuck it.

UGH! I hate my life! Damn it. I smash the pillow into my face as I sigh and sit up in bed. There has to be a way to fix this. If I tell Lauren I love her she'll come back. She can't be serious with that bitch Ashley. But maybe she needs this, for her own gain. I took the time and dated so why shouldn't she? I sigh to myself and run my fingers over the back of the necklace Lauren gave me, all those years ago. I never got rid of it or lost it, no matter how mad I was. This necklace meant so much to me and still does.

I get up and go make Maya and I breakfast. She has a dance class today but with Allyson. It's the first time she's going there so I'm hoping she's excited. I wake her up and she goes to get ready before she comes down to eat breakfast. While she's getting ready I go take a shower and get dressed then go back in the kitchen. Maya is sitting at the table scarfing her food down.

"Hey, Hey, Hey. Slow down, it's not going anywhere." I say and she chews slower and drinks some orange juice.

"What's the hurry? You look like a chipmunk." I say as I grab one over her overly stuffed cheeks and I chuckle when she groans and shakes her head. She finishes chewing before saying.

"We have to be on time."

"We will be and why aren't you in your dance clothes?" I say.

"They're under my clothes." She says and I nod.

"Are you excited?"

"Kinda."

"Kinda?"

"Today could be bad or awesome."

"What does that mean?" I ask curiously and start to eat my own food.

"Um nothing I mean...I could be bad or good." She says and I know she's lying. I can always tell when she's lying, the powers of being a mother.

"Why don't I believe you?" I say and she starts eating again to avoid my question.

"Amaya?" I say and she hums.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing mama. Promise." She says and gives me a huge grin to try and prove she's innocent which is only making her more guilty, but I just let it go.