A Letter Like Yours [S.M]

Chapter Twenty-Five

Song for this chapter;

Snowy White- When you broke your promise.

Ian and I started to head back to the bus. I decided that if he was going to drag me back to it then I wanted to walk, so I could give Paris one last look, because I was more than likely going to be depressed once we leave. I love this city a lot, and that's just me exploring it over three days. Imagine if I had more time here...more time to hang out with Pablo and Annie. I think I will miss Annie the most, as I had spent some quality time with her tonight, and I felt as if we had really connected in some kind of way. I had no idea what was left for me and Pablo because even though we got along and we had a lot in common, I didn't have any of his social medias, I had no way of contacting him. We will meet again someday...I hope.

"I want to move here one day, I think." I say my thoughts, keeping my eyes to the ground, watching as my feet carry me towards the tour bus I was dreading to get onto. I turn my head to look at him when he doesn't reply. He has a huge smile on his face, which was contagious because instantly a smile formed on my face as well.

"I love how even after all the negative shit that happens, you still somehow manage to find the light. You guide yourself, you don't give up and I respect that." He says, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Get me some nachos for all this cheese." I chuckle, nudging him slightly, the smile growing.

"It's true, and just promise me one thing Clara?" Ian asks me, looking to the ground and then back up at me, I wave my hands towards him for him to carry on. "Promise me that if it happens again, just please promise me that you'll move on with your life, instead of dwelling because I don't think I'd be able to see you that way again, not anytime soon. You deserve to be happy and I'm still not keen on the way he handled things, and I swear to God if he doesn't again, all because he's back with her, I will kill him. Literally." Ian orates, referring to Shawn and what happened when he was with Lauren.

As I look at the boy standing next to me, I realize that he's truly been there for me, through everything and I appreciate that. You don't get a lot of people like Ian these days, and I honestly don't know what I would be doing if he wasn't around. I'd probably still be sitting on that bench, and I'd probably end up sleeping on that bench, because if it wasn't for Ian making me go back to the tour bus, I wouldn't have the guts to go alone and face them two. Not like it would matter anyways because, Shawn's already starting to act like he did when he was with Lauren last time. 

I'm kind of expecting it to happen again anyway. Mostly because I don't want to get my hopes up, just for them to plummet into the ground. I also didn't want to let my guard down either. Definitely to Lauren, because I don't believe for one moment that she has changed.

I soon realize that I had totally ignored his proposition and that I had stood still in my tracks. Ian was looking at me, a confused look spread out across his soft features. I shake my head, my eyes welling up. I swallow the lump in my throat. I needed to man up. I needed to face my greatest fear- losing my best friend again.

Remembering how to move my legs again, I create a steady pace, heading over to where Ian was.

"I promise Ian. I'm just worried that Shawn will break his promise." I confess, looking up at him. He nods understandingly.

"I know you don't want to hear this right now, but he probably will and that's reality, and if he does break his promise then, yes I know it will hurt, but only for a short while, and then you'll finally find a way to get over him and everything he has ever done to you. You'll find a way to move on. I can promise you that." He lectures me again. I give a brief nod, zoning out again. I hated being left to my thoughts. One day they would eat me alive.

There had been a lot of promises made tonight and that scared me even more. I could deal with one being broken but not three.

I take in a shaky breath, as we come towards the tour bus door, almost twenty minutes later. Just how I wanted to be spending my time on tour with my best friend. Sleeping on a cold, uncomfortable couch, being ignored by the person who invited me to come along.

Grasping the handle, sighing, I swing it open and walk in, instantly seeing the pair cuddling together on the living area couch, watching some shitty black and white movie. I glare at Lauren as I see MY blanket wrapped around her small shoulders. Ian looks at me, smirking, knowing that, that's the blanket my Father gave me to take on this tour, so I had him close to me at all times.

I stalk over towards them, the both of them giving me a confused look. I scowl at her, wrapping my fist into the blanket and yanking it from underneath her. I had no morals when it came to her, so seeing her almost fall off the couch from my force made me want to laugh in her face, but I had to be the mature one.

"What the hell was that for Clara?" Shawn yells at me, throwing his hands in the air. I scoff, giving him a 'don't you even dare try me' look.

"You know damn well that this is MY blanket, so don't be giving it to your skank of a girlfriend." I yell right back at him. This is what happened last time. He would always yell at me, as if I was in the wrong. Well I'm not in the wrong. She had no right to take my things.

"Don't you dare call my girlfriend a skank! You have no right!" His voice becomes louder, his eyes squinted as he looked at me. I death glare him.

"And you have no right to yell at me Shawn! You promised you wouldn't act like this again, but all you are is a big fat liar. All you've done whilst I've been on this tour is hurt me and lie to me, so don't you dare yell at me. You're making me sleep on a couch, and now you're letting her use my shit. Well screw you." I spit, making him back down. He knew I was right, because as soon as I mentioned him acting the way he did, he didn't look me in the eyes, and his features turned soft. I looked to Lauren.

"Keep your paws off my shit okay? Okay." I say sassily, she looks at me shocked by actions, as I had never stood up to her before, but things were going to change around here.

She may control Shawn but she sure as hell doesn't control me.