A Letter Like Yours [S.M]

Chapter Forty.

Song for this chapter;

Nora Jones- Come away with me.

I was laying down, tangled between the crisp white sheets and Shawn, his arms wrapped around my torso, as my back faces him, his head buried in the crook of my neck. I could feel small puffs of minty breath fan over my ear as he slept softly. We hadn't said much since I said yes, to be his girlfriend, we were just enjoying each other's company, enjoying the fact that we had a break from reality for a while, because at some point we will have to leave this hotel room and part ways. I'll have to go home and Shawn will have to go back on tour.

Everything still felt strange to me. The fact that I was Shawn Mendes girlfriend now and not just his best friend amazed me, because the previous day, I was angry at him, I was telling myself I was over him and that I could do so much better than him, but I know that's not true, now that I've discovered my true feelings towards him. Shawn is everything I could have ever wished for in a person. He was sweet and kind and loving. What more could a girl want? But then another part of me, the darker and deeper part in the back of brain was telling me I had made the wrong decision, but I ignored the nagging whispers from my conscience, and focused on what I had gained. I had gained Shawn.

How many times have you heard anyone say 'I'm in love with my best friend and he loves me back?' Stuff like that only happens in the movies; or at least I thought they did. This is happening to me in real life; right now and I couldn't be happier.

"Shawn we have to leave soon." I whisper, hoping he was awake. Instead of an answer I receive a muffled groan from him, he buried his head deeper into my neck, nudging into it like a dog. "You have a tour to go back to." I continue. He shakes his head.

"I'm not going back on tour Clara." He replies quietly, his voice raspy- making me blush.

"What do you mean, you're not going back on tour?" I ask, the shock present in my voice, as I turn around to face him. I was sat up now, but his head was still heavy on the thick pillow, his eyes closed tightly.

"I mean, I'm not going back on tour without you...I need you there." He sighs, sitting up slowly, rubbing his eyes in the process to try and get rid of the sleep that was consuming him. I shake my head at his response.

"You can't just not go back on tour, your fans are waiting for you, you can't disappoint them Shawn." I look at him, making eye contact, his eyes were red, and you could easily tell he was tired, I bet he didn't get much sleep last night, with me being a drunken mess and all.

"Well I'm not going without you. End of discussion." He was so stubborn at times, this was the one thing I didn't like about him, but I've gotten used to it.

"What do you propose then Shawn?" I sigh exhaustedly, looking down at my lap instead of at him. He places an index finger underneath my chin, lifting my face up to look at him. He leans in slowly, planting a soft peck onto my lips, making a smile instantly form on my face. I forgot we could do that now. He smiles back at me, before resting his forehead on mine, one of his large hands resting on the back of my neck.

"Come back on tour with me Clara Adeline Foster." He says before planting another sweet kiss onto my lips once again. I frown, shaking my head. I couldn't. I didn't want us to end up like before.

"I can't Shawn. When I was on tour with you, all we did was argue...I can't go through that again, I don't want to ruin what we have now, by people getting in the way on tour, because people will get in the way I guarantee it."

"No one will get in the way this time Clara, I can promise you that." That word still made me wince every time he said it. It's not that I didn't trust him, because I did...I guess. But whenever he promises something everything goes shit.

"Please don't promise something you know you can't keep Shawn, please. That's all I ask of you." I beg.

"Clara, I'm not going to hurt you this time okay? You need to know that. I'm not going to let anyone else hurt you either, no one is going to get in the way of us this time. This time will be different- better even." I still wasn't sure whether it was a good idea for me to go on tour with Shawn this time round because I could barely last a month and I know technically I'm supposed to be on tour with him right now anyway, but even before everything with Lauren happened we were arguing, I can't bear to argue with him again. I sigh, my petite hands gliding through my messy hair. I needed a shower desperately.

"We have to try and convince my Father, Shawn. I told him everything...and I don't know how he will feel about me and you together, let alone me going back on tour with you." I say, turning my head to look at him, my chin resting on top of my shoulder. I give him a small smile.

"Does this mean you'll come back on tour with me??" He asks, sitting up now, his hands holding his weight as he leans towards me, his curls falling over his eyes. I lift my hand up to move it back, a huge smile on his face as I do this. My hands move to his smooth, reddened cheeks, our noses barely brushing.

"Yes, but on one condition." I didn't want to argue with him at all on this tour, I wanted us to have a fresh start, forget about everything that's happened so far- Lauren, the arguments. I knew I was being naïve about this whole situation and I knew it was going to be hard for me to forget about all the bullshit he put me through, but I had to move past it somehow, and I was willing to move past it with Shawn. I couldn't blame him for every little thing that happened between us. It was my choice to give him a second chance after the first time this happened, and it was my choice to go on tour, knowing we were drifting apart from each other. We are both to blame for what's happened, but I feel like we can move past this one last time.

"Anything Clara, I'll do anything, as long as it means you'll come on tour with me again." He says softly, his eyebrows furrowed in anticipation as he waits for me to carry on.

"We don't argue, and we don't give each other a reason to argue." I say, a small smile on my face appears, as he nods.

"Of course. I can't lose you for a third time. I won't let you get away again."