What Can I Do

Chapter 15 ~Why am I feeling rain? You always bring the umbrella

Wonpil had headed straight to the front doors after the last bell rang for the day. 

He usually met Sungjin outside the front doors, and then they would proceed to walk home together. They only lived a few houses down from each other so it was convenient to make the distance there together.

Wonpil smiled as he stood in front of the doors, anticipating getting to spend time with Sungjin. He grinned to himself and held onto his backpack strap tighter, trying to look around inside to spot Sungjin. 

His stomach fluttered and his cheeks heated as he recalled Sungjin's cute smile as he asked him to go for ice cream. Sungjin's smile always made his stomach do weird things, and whenever Sungjin payed special attention to himself, he felt his heart race. 

Wonpil thought he would be content if it was just him and Sungjin for the rest of his life. These feelings had been present for years now, and he had always brushed it off as just his fondness towards his best friend. Wonpil had a small smile on his face even now while he thought about Sungjin now.

He would do anything to make Sungjin smile. For years he had let him borrow his bike, help him with homework, invited him to family dinners. He always felt happier with Sungjin around. Wonpil always felt satisfied knowing that he was his best friend; the one Sungjin would go to for anything. He loved putting a smile on his face, and being the reason he smiled.

Thinking hard about his feelings, Wonpil suddenly had a life altering moment. He realized why his breath hitched while Sungjin came close to him and why he couldn't stop staring at him whenever they were together. It was suddenly very obvious. 

His breathing almost stopped when he realized that he was in love with Sungjin. He was in love with his best friend. He had probably been in love with him for years. His heart raced just at the thought. This feeling was the reason Wonpil was so pliant towards Sungjin. He was soft towards him in a way he wasn't usually with anybody else. He always thought it was because Sungjin was his best friend so of course he was more indulgent and affectionate towards him.

How could he not have seen it? Thinking about his past behaviour, it seemed obvious now. His breathing picked up, nervous about meeting Sungjin now that he realized he was in love with him. What if he noticed? Wonpil stressed and internally panicked before pacing in front of the door.

He was anxious for no reason however, because Sungjin had still not shown up. After a few minutes, he began thinking Sungjin might just be held up in class.

Fifteen minutes after school had ended; there was still no sight of Sungjin. Not minding waiting a little bit if his friend was late, Wonpil took a seat on the bench. But then twenty minutes past, and then so did twenty five, and at thirty minutes Wonpil was starting to get frustrated, wondering where Sungjin was.

Almost all the students had left the school by now, and he was one of the last ones there again. His racing heart had now calmed into a slow irritation, wondering why his friend hadn't called him or anything. He resolved to wait for him a little longer, keeping hope on the fact that Sungjin said they would hang out together.

Wonpil opened his phone and saw that he had no notifications or text messages from Sungjin, and his heart dropped.

He sighed, standing up again. He stood in front of the doors until it slowly began to rain. The clouds above him darkened and clouded together until rain drops began dropping quickly from the sky. Wonpil didn't even bring an umbrella since he believed Sungjin would have one with him. He always had one with him. 

A full hour after the final bell had rang, showed Wonpil as the only student left in the school. Wonpil didn't know how to feel, knowing now, that Sungjin was never going to show up. He was never going to come in the first place, and left Wonpil waiting for him like a fool.

The rain came on harder, Wonpil uncaring as the drops hit him like small bullets. His heart hurt knowing Sungjin had blown him off, or because he actually fooled him into thinking he wanted to hang out with him. He didn't know why Sungjin would be so cruel as to lie to him, ignoring him for the nth time. He now realized the way Sungjin looked at Haru was the same way Wonpil looked at him. He hurt with the fact that Sungjin was never going to look at him in the same way. They were just never going to have their happy ending.

He smiled bitterly, noting that his realization of love came at the worst time. His smile slowly slid off his face as the pain in his heart increased. It thumped numbly and too largely in his chest. Wonpil barely felt the rain soaking into his clothes as the hurt began taking up his entire mind, claiming all his attention. He had realized he loved Sungjin only to have him stomp on his heart.

"Stupid, stupid." Wonpil muttered brokenly, the sound of rain hitting the pavement drowning out his voice.

Suddenly the sound of rain around him dimmed and the drops pelting his face stopped. He noticed someone standing beside him, holding an umbrella over his head, protecting him from the rain.

Wonpil didn't glance to the side but knew it was Dowoon. The boy stood silently, dutifully holding the umbrella above Wonpil's head, getting himself thoroughly wet in the process. The boy didn't say anything as he stood by Wonpil's side.

Wonpil didn't realize he was crying until he was no longer getting hit by the rain, but still felt wetness on his cheeks. 

The tears flowed silently down his face, as Wonpil's heart broke to pieces under the umbrella.