Improbable

Nine

I turn over in bed and bury my face in the soft cool pillow. Ugh, I feel like an idiot. Do you ever have those moments where you REALLY regret how you've acted? At the time you may have just done what felt right but later you internally scream at yourself.

Ethan. I always thought he was a tool and incredibly annoying to the point I gave him props and a reference for future people he may want to annoy. He'd be great at that kind of job. Or so I thought...

After today, I just ran out. I couldn't look him in the eye knowing how I'd misjudged him. I need to apologise, I know. I need him to know that I was a stereotyping, narrow-minded bitch. And that I don't deserve his love.

Even right now, Jared's eyes are in my mind's eye too regularly. His heart is always being weighted in my heart. Cheesy, yeah, but it feels true.

Food.

I follow my stomach down the hall to the kitchen and scowl it for opening the cupboard. But since it's open I look in. Cookies. Okay, if they weren't in there I'd have slapped on an apron and baked a few hundred batches, so let's thank goodness that the oven won't be in a heated argument with me tonight.

"Hey, Sis."

I turn around, eyes wide and cookie crumbs all over my face. My brother, the beautiful boy he is, laughs and comes forward to grab one too.

"This is why we can't have nice things," he laughs.

"What mom doesn't know can't hurt her," I say through a mouth of regrets.

"She bought these, you know, she'll notice they've been eaten."

My heart drops... dang... I'm in trouble.

"Haha, enjoy them while you can, Sis," he laughs more.

"I should become a comedian."

"No, I'm pretty sure you'll be put in a straight jacket if other people hear the shit you come up with. Let's keep it in the family," he winks.

"Stupid," I grumble.

"By the way, have you spoken with Ethan?" Hamish asks, tone changing to something unrecognisable. Serious?

I blush. "Yeah."

He nods knowingly. He knew.

"You knew?" I ask softly. "I'm an absolute prick."

"I knew," Hamish replies, "but you weren't a prick, you just didn't know."

"Not noticing makes me a prick."

"Not noticing makes you human!" he almost yells. "You're just a girl, you can't do everything perfectly! Don't expect so much from yourself and just learn from your mistakes so you can try differently next time."

"Wow, bro," my mouth shows an "in awe" shape. "You're pretty damn inspiring."

He grins, grabbing another cookie and chomping.

"I think we can keep you," I laugh.

"You love me!" he pouts with crumbs flying everywhere. So much for stealth in cookie stealing.

"Yeah," I grin, "how could I not?"

A/N: Hey, I'm really sorry, it's been a while. I'm in Uni now, the second semester. Studying English, so hopefully this writing isn't too shit for a mumbled break between essays. Don't worry, I have a general idea of where the story is going. There will be some filler stuff with relationships on the side (not always romantic) developing and maybe become important? Eg. the bro Hamish, he's a legend.

The track above is funky, and relates to the chapter's vibes. Maybe cheesy sad music where the people in the MV look out a window at rain would be suitable too. I meant for awkward, unsure vibes to be brought to this chapter.

Idk if anyone is even reading this book but I just wanna finish something, even if it's bad. I can improve, that's the main thing XD