/ˈpɛnɪt(ə)nt/

[Chapter 3]; I Somehow Felt Compelled By Him

I don't know when I woke up, but everything hurt me. As soon as I opened my eyes the bright light burned my already sore eyes. My back arched and my head felt like it was going to blow up.

I looked around me and I was alone in my room. From the light I could tell it was noon.

This whole situation annoyed me because I thought I was strong enough to fight with my memories and thoughts, but obviously I wasn't. I get the 'panic attacks' every week at least. The most I went through without it was like two weeks or so. 

The doors opened and Manson walked in, Gerard behind her "How are you feeling, Franklin?"

I rolled my eyes. I guess she just doesn't understand that not even my parents named me Franklin. I am Frank. Nothing less nothing more "Bad"

"Do you want me to bring you a pill?" she asked and I nodded, but regretted moving my head the same second so I hissed in pain.

She left the room and Gerard was still standing at the door. I looked at him and he was looking back at me.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. I tried deciding was that a disgusted question or worried. Couldn't decide. So better ask.

"What do you mean?" 

"Why were you screaming so much yesterday? Why was there blood on your bed and scars on your body? Who should have stopped what? Why were you crying?" he moved his hands with every question and looked around the room like he was ashamed of looking at me or it made him feel awkward.

"I told you I would tell you if we ever get close" I answered simply and he locked his eyes with mine again.

"Is it true what Bert said?" he asked suddenly, crossing his arms.

"Yes" if I told him more he would have known about my situation so better not.

"Tell him. I know you think he is beautiful. You want him to take care of you" I heard a male voice. It didn't really sound like Gerard, but who else could have it been? Who would even say bullshit like that?

"What?" I asked and Gerard frowned "Did you say something?"

Gerard frowned deeper and moved to his bed "No I didn't"

I suppose my head just hurt. He really seemed like the information Bert told him hit him quite hard. That can only say that we will never get closer for me to tell him. So as a human I could either tell him now and fix the situation by telling him the truth now or say nothing so I get him off my back. I'll go with the second option.

Manson chimed in with a glass of water and a pill in the other hand "Sit up" she said.

I sat, thought that hurt as hell. I swallowed the pill with the liquid when Manson walked to Gerard and picked his head up to look at her and said something like "Don't worry, everything is going to be fine, no one is going to hurt you"

Honestly, everything seemed fishy right now. And why was she conferring g him? I am the one who had the panic attack. I am in pain. He is not. 

Manson turned to me "If he feels bad, go to my office and tell me"

My mouth fell agape. Was she serious? I am barely sitting and she wants me to walk all over to her office if this pussy feels bad? I feel like arguing now, she should watch what she is saying "No. I won't"

"It's not your choice. You have to"

"I can do what I want! I don't have to listen to bitches like you!" my throat hurt a lot, especially when my voice got up, but this had to be done. I needed to show her I can take care of myself and my responsibilities.