/ˈpɛnɪt(ə)nt/

[Chapter 4]; Tell Me I'm a Monster Like Them

"Wanna play ches?" Leo snapped me out of my "deep" thoughts.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" I laugh slightly, but still continue thinking as he takes the chess board out. Gerard is kind of weird to me, he's almost never in the room and Manson is constantly worried about him for some reason. I think that's stupid. He is no more special than anyone else in this house hold. 

"What's wrong?" he asked with a somehow worried face while setting all the chess figures in place.

"Hm?" I look at him and smile to asure him that everything is okay "Nothing, everything's okay. No worries"

He stopped and looked at me like a sad little puppy "Do you not trust me? You know you can tell me anything"

I was a little shocked so my eyes popped out a bit and i didn't answer the fast enough. Why would he think like that, I mean first of all we are not even freinds for that long and second of all I don't trust anyone no matter what so he shouldn't be shocked "I know I can tell you anything, do you not trust me?"

He put everything down and moved away a little, signaling me that we'll talk now and not play yet "Frank," she started pressing his plams together sighing quietly "I know a lot about you. I know your mind is ocupied with something and you have to tell me because letting thoughts out is very healthy and good. I need you to know that I can be your diary if you wish"

I don't trust him or want to listen to anything he says, but I really feel like he is right for some reason. There's a feeling inside of me that's telling me he is better than the others.

"Okay, yeah" I responded, still not confident with my decision. I felt like something else in me was talking "I'm conserned about Gerard I guess..."

"That's understandable" he chilled out and relaxed afterwards "Why didn't you say so from the begining?"

"Because it's all just confusing me. I don't care about anyone so I shouldn't care about him. He is no more special or important as you or Manson or the disgusting scum bags that call themselves my parents" I shook my head, not wanthing to look at him anymore. It just somehow hurt me that he is here. Probably because he is just too prefect to be real so I feel even more down. That remindes me. Bert once told me I'm a 'little depressed slut' and I told myself to ask Manson what depressed exactly is because I just think it means sad, but I don't believe Bert would know synonims for any words so it has to have another meaning. 

Leo kind of gave me a glare and started slowly "So you consider your parents to be on the same level as me and Manson?"

I thought about that for a few seconds, but I feel like that was too long for Leo, "Go on! Tell me I'm a monster like them! I see you think that I'll beat you up or call you names after everything that I have done! I always kept you safe even if you don't think so! I gave my life so I can take care of you! You should give me some respect!"

And then it happened. He slapped me.

Tears started streaming down my red cheek. I started shaking. I remembered him then. He wasn't always here, he followed me here. He was always in our house laughing as the punched me, spit at me... touch me.. He never tried to stop them and that is why he knows so much. He probably even worked for my parents. Maybe he still even is working for them.

At some moment I looked at him in the eyes. His usually white corneas were black. But I couldn't look at him for any longer. It felt like his eyes were burning me as he scaned through my body. Then he laughed "Wait for me, I'll come back"

I nodded, scared to death. I still think that something else in me nodded and opened up to him 'cause I would never do that. Then he walked to his corner and the last thing i saw was his red and yellow eyes and his wide grin.