“If everything is imperfect in this imperfect world, love is most perfect in its perfect imperfection.” ~ Gunnar Björnstrand
Chapter Four: The Stranger
Abram's words catch me completely of guard, and confusion sets in. Was he really saying what I thought he was? My mind begins to spin, and I feel slightly dizzy. I am completely overwhelmed.
Abram is my friend, a very close friend, but I am not sure that my feelings go beyond that. I have the feeling that things between us are about to get pretty complicated, and that frightens me. One thing that I love about our friendship is that it is open and honest, and completely uncomplicated. The idea that this might change terrifies, and saddens me.
I open my mouth wanting to say something, but quickly close it again. Words are completely escaping me.
Abram turns to face me. “I have wanted to tell you this for a while now, but I didn’t have the courage until tonight. I was afraid that if you didn’t feel the same way about me, that it would drive you away. I can’t lose you, but I also can’t keep hiding the way I feel.”
I am so stunned by Abram’s sudden and unexpected confession, that I have a hard time forming a coherent thought. I honestly am not sure how I feel about Abram in that regards. We grew up together, and you can’t help but have strong feelings for someone that you are that close with, but I am not sure that I have romantic feelings towards him. But, at the same time, I am also not so sure that I don’t have those types of feelings for him either.
On occasion I have caught myself studying his features, and I have found myself completely captivated by him in those moments. But I had always assumed that was because I admire him; because I think of him as a beautiful and amazing person, both inside and out. Was I actually attracted to him, and just didn’t realize it? Was that even possible? I know that I love Abram. He is like a brother to me ….But, am I in love with him? I honestly don’t know.
“I don’t know what to say… “, I am surprised by the sound of my own voice. It sounds extremely shaky and uncertain; completely out of character for me.
“I don’t expect you to say anything. I didn’t tell you this, because I wanted you to tell me how you feel about me. I just couldn’t keep it from you anymore. It felt like I was keeping secrets from you, and it just didn’t feel right. It was eating me up inside, and I felt like you deserved to know. I won’t lie, and tell you that I don’t hope that you feel the same way about me, but I respect your feelings whatever they may be. I just pray that I haven’t lost you by telling you this.”
His blue eyes look both hopeful and fearful at the same time.
I can’t begin to process everything that has occurred in the past twelve hours. My brain is experiencing overload, and I am afraid that if I try to make sense of all of it tonight, that I will be jeopardizing my sanity. I feel like I am coming apart at the seams, and I want desperately to climb into my bed, and put this day behind me. But, I know that climbing into bed is a long way off.
“I think that I need some time to sort out all of my feelings. So much has happened today with my Father, and my Mother, and now this… I am completely overwhelmed. I honestly can’t tell you how I feel about anything right now, but what I can tell you is that you haven’t lost me.”
I give him as much of a smile as I can conjure up under the circumstances.
“I completely understand…. It has been a very long day.” He says.
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The Three Perfections
Science FictionTo be perfect, is to be flawless. Seventeen year old, Aaleya, will be expected to be just that. It is what is required of everyone now, since the end of the Scourge, when a plague and war changed everything. Aaleya stands to lose everything in h...